Do not weep, my soul
For that which
You may not have.
'Twas was never
Your portion
To be known.
Look into tomorrow
And see the
Shoots of grass,
For they are the seeds
You have sown.
Though you may never
Feel the blades
Gently beneath your feet,
Take courage and know
Their roots are strong,
And their fruit is sweet.
Silently you walk alone,
With seeds and water
In your hands.
Steady your gaze,
With your face in the wind,
As daily you
Tread these lands.
Take courage, my soul
Do not feel bereft,
Truly your burden is light.
'Tis only a lie,
Whispered by he who hides,
Deep in the cloak of night.
Wrestle not against flesh,
Wrestle not against blood,
'Tis a war in the spirit,
You see.
The prince of the air
Seeks your very life,
Though a defeated foe
Is he.
Feed your faith,
And starve your fear,
Put on your armor and stand!
Speak the word daily,
Wield the sword
Of the Lord,
Drive out the beast
From the land!
Be not ashamed,
Of what you may not have,
Only be ready each day,
As the Lord God commands,
Whether seen or unseen,
To faithfully love and obey.
Take up your cross daily,
Lay down your pride,
Your anger, your fear
And your hate.
Embrace the Lord Jesus,
Lay it all down,
Lay it down
Before it's too late.
Friday, July 25, 2014
Saying Sorry
I read a quote by Joyce Meyer that asks, "Are you willing to take on the role of a peacemaker? Are you willing to be the first one to say, "I'm sorry"?"
I began to think about those two words, "I'm sorry". They are often the hardest words for a person to say. It may be generalized that men have a harder time saying theses two words than women. While I do not have official data, I can only surmise as to the reasons this may or may not be true.
In the dictionary sorry is defined as:
1. causing sorrow; grievous
2. grieved for a loss, a mistake, a sin, etc. ; feeling sorrow, regret or penitence
3. melancholy; dismal; gloomy; mournful
The act of saying I'm sorry can seem like an arduous task. Maybe we still feel right in our minds, therefore we should not have to be the first one to say it. Perhaps we are not ready to let go of the sting of the event, the anger or grief that it brought, so we hold on. Pride refuses to yield. Our role as a superior (as in a parent, boss, leader) prevents our lips from uttering such a phrase that may be so great as to restore peace, harmony and even healing to another. We defiantly say within ourselves, "No! I will not be the first or the one to say, "I'm sorry." We are right and that is how we plan to stay.
As a parent we should realize the importance of being able to tell our children, "I'm sorry." Our willingness to yield ourselves to their forgiveness molds them and teaches them a valuable truth. Parents mess up. We make mistakes and we should acknowledge it when we do. We should seek to minister to our children the healing words of a heartfelt apology. We, in the church, often speak about serving one another in love. Our children should not be the exception. We should serve them in love as well.
As a boss or leader it may be even harder to say, "I'm sorry." Many industry leaders are taught to never apologize, as it can be perceived to admit fault, blame and/or responsibility. At some point someone needs to be responsible. Fear often dictates where common sense, common decency and courtesy should prevail.
It would seem that the phrase, "I'm sorry" could be the most under-used phrase, despite the power that the words may have when spoken from a sincere, contrite heart.
Doctors often heal bodies with medicine or therapies designed for the affliction. They are trained in their profession and/or specialty. Words and wrong actions are wounding to the very core of our being. They often have a more devastating effect on people than the affirmities their physical bodies may face. Hearts are broken, spirits are crushed, self-esteem is stripped away, our sense of worth is made worthless and the brightness of our intellect is often made dim simply by the words we speak to one another.
I do not want to be justified at the expense of your spirit and your mind being crushed. If that is how am I justified then perhaps I have been lied to and perhaps I have believed the lie. What about you? Have you believed the lie? Do you need to be right more than you need to make things right?
We do not have to have specialized training to administer healing words. We can begin today, this very moment, in administering the healing balm of a sincere apology. We can change our actions or behaviors that inflict pain or that antagonizes another. Love, humility, empathy, remorse, gentleness, peacefulness and forgiveness are all instruments of healing that we can carry with us everywhere we go.
Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart;Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me,And lead me in the way everlasting."
I began to think about those two words, "I'm sorry". They are often the hardest words for a person to say. It may be generalized that men have a harder time saying theses two words than women. While I do not have official data, I can only surmise as to the reasons this may or may not be true.
In the dictionary sorry is defined as:
1. causing sorrow; grievous
2. grieved for a loss, a mistake, a sin, etc. ; feeling sorrow, regret or penitence
3. melancholy; dismal; gloomy; mournful
The act of saying I'm sorry can seem like an arduous task. Maybe we still feel right in our minds, therefore we should not have to be the first one to say it. Perhaps we are not ready to let go of the sting of the event, the anger or grief that it brought, so we hold on. Pride refuses to yield. Our role as a superior (as in a parent, boss, leader) prevents our lips from uttering such a phrase that may be so great as to restore peace, harmony and even healing to another. We defiantly say within ourselves, "No! I will not be the first or the one to say, "I'm sorry." We are right and that is how we plan to stay.
As a parent we should realize the importance of being able to tell our children, "I'm sorry." Our willingness to yield ourselves to their forgiveness molds them and teaches them a valuable truth. Parents mess up. We make mistakes and we should acknowledge it when we do. We should seek to minister to our children the healing words of a heartfelt apology. We, in the church, often speak about serving one another in love. Our children should not be the exception. We should serve them in love as well.
As a boss or leader it may be even harder to say, "I'm sorry." Many industry leaders are taught to never apologize, as it can be perceived to admit fault, blame and/or responsibility. At some point someone needs to be responsible. Fear often dictates where common sense, common decency and courtesy should prevail.
It would seem that the phrase, "I'm sorry" could be the most under-used phrase, despite the power that the words may have when spoken from a sincere, contrite heart.
Doctors often heal bodies with medicine or therapies designed for the affliction. They are trained in their profession and/or specialty. Words and wrong actions are wounding to the very core of our being. They often have a more devastating effect on people than the affirmities their physical bodies may face. Hearts are broken, spirits are crushed, self-esteem is stripped away, our sense of worth is made worthless and the brightness of our intellect is often made dim simply by the words we speak to one another.
I do not want to be justified at the expense of your spirit and your mind being crushed. If that is how am I justified then perhaps I have been lied to and perhaps I have believed the lie. What about you? Have you believed the lie? Do you need to be right more than you need to make things right?
We do not have to have specialized training to administer healing words. We can begin today, this very moment, in administering the healing balm of a sincere apology. We can change our actions or behaviors that inflict pain or that antagonizes another. Love, humility, empathy, remorse, gentleness, peacefulness and forgiveness are all instruments of healing that we can carry with us everywhere we go.
Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart;Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me,And lead me in the way everlasting."
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
God's Holy Hush
It is a beautiful place in prayer when one arrives to the place of silence as a Holy Hush fills the room and all prayer seems to cease. With eyes closed, hearts beating with expectation and hands lifted toward Heaven in reckless abandon, you can almost feel your spirit lifted to the threshold of Heaven's gates. You can sense the Holy Spirit's presence as you anxiously await God's words to be spoken, as you await a work of His hands. His presence is almost tangible like a thick fog that engulfs you all around. His presence is safe, secure and, at times, exhilerating. It is in these moments that you want to be so completely yielded to Him so that you miss nothing. Your ears strain to hear, your mind is eager to absorb His truths, your hands reach a little further toward heaven as though you could actually touch its gates. Your list of petitions has long ceased to be mentioned as you simply marvel in His glory.
"Be still and know that I am God." You hear the whisper of the word of God reminding you. Then it happens.
You find that you cannot be still. The Holy Hush that seemed to draw you to the very gates of Heaven has now been interrupted. "Be still..." It seems so simple, yet it is a struggle. How often has the Lord invited us into His inner court? How often has He longed to share the deep secrets of His heart to a willing child of His? Despite how comfortable the silence of the Holy Hush is, whether in a group or alone, it seems it is often interrupted. How long is too long to "Be still and know that I am God"? I would say that if we failed to get to the part that says, "...and know that I am God", then we probably did not wait long enough.
I believe many people have been trusting the Lord for a breakthrough in their lives, whether it be in relationships, finance, health, faith or other.
Breakthrough is defined as:
1. a military movement or advance
2. an act or instance of remov
3. any significant or sudden a
scientific knowledge or diplomacy, that removes a b
Let us be challenged to truly learn to wait upon the Lord. Let us endeavor to fulfill this command in all its simplicity. Let us, "Be still and know that I am God." Perhaps it is then that we will have our breakthroughs as we learn to war in the stillness of God's Holy Hush. Many blessings to you all.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Faithful Beginnings and Fair-Weather Christians
Luke 6:12-16
12 Now it came to pass in those days that He went out to the mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God. 13 And when it was day, He called His disciples toHimself; and from them He chose twelve whom He also named apostles: 14 Simon, whom He also named Peter, and Andrew his brother; James and John; Philip and Bartholomew; 15 Matthew and Thomas; James the son of Alphaeus, and Simon called the Zealot; 16 Judas the son of James, and Judas Iscariot who also became a traitor.
Before Jesus chose His twelve disciples He spent the night in prayer to God. Once chosen He called them apostles. This passage brings two thoughts to mind.
First, when you have a decision to make do you spend valuable time in prayer so that you may discern the right choice? Jesus had many followers but He needed to assemble a team, an inner circle whom He could teach, instruct, guide, mold, prepare and ultimately send out to spread His message.
His team included a traitor, deserters and one who would deny Him three times. Jesus did not seem perplexed by this as He made His way to to the cross. He is not recorded at having second guessed Himself or the Father in regards to the men who were called and chosen to be His apostles.
John 2:23-25 tells us, "23 Now when He was in Jerusalem at the Passover, during the feast, many believed in His name when they saw the signs which He did. 24 But Jesus did not commit Himself to them, because He knew all men, 25 and had no need that anyone should testify of man, for He knew what was in man."
Jesus knew what was in man. He knew what was in the men He chose that day, yet He was obedient to the Father when He appointed them. He looked beyond who they were with limitations and saw who they could become. We need to be the same way.
We need to be dedicated to prayer.
We need to know the Father's voice.
We need to be obedient.
We do not need to second guess what we know the Lord has told us.
We must be faithful even when it seems we are being betrayed, even when we have been deserted, even when we have been denied. As we take up our own cross we must be faithful to the end.
Sometimes when it seems our plans are falling apart and people are not who we thought they should be, it is then that things are really beginning to come together. We must not be short-sighted. If our plans were prayerfully sought, then we should trust the Father to see it through to the end despite what our eyes may see and our ears may hear.
If we are not dedicated to prayer, if we do not know the Father's voice, if we are not obedient we will continually second guess everything that comes our way. We will be ruled by emotions and fears. We cannot be faithful to the end if we are not faithful to begin.
Secondly, verse 16 says that Judas Iscariot became a traitor. He was not that from the beginning. He was chosen to walk with Jesus. He was given a chance to know the Savior. Hen then had to make a choice. The same is true for each of us. We have a chance to walk with the Savior but we must make a choice.
Jesus was not a fair-weather savior. He did not die when it was convenient nor was He surrounded by friends and comforters. He taught, loved, mentored, prayed for and encouraged his disciples in spite of what He knew they would do. On the darkest day of His human life He was alone. Even upon the cross He was forsaken by the Father as our sin was placed upon Him.
He had the power of heaven at His disposal,
Yet He remained upon His cross
For the love of a world
He knew was lost.
Forsaken by His Father,
Deserted by His friends,
Jesus's love kept Him
On His cross to the end.
What will keep you to the end? Don't be a fair-weather christian, only serving God on the good days. In all your ways and through all your days acknowledge Him and serve Him to the end.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Don't Worry, We Are Christians
I talked about you today.
In my conversation with
A friend, the topic of you
Had no end.
We pondered your choices,
We pondered your pain,
We shook our heads knowingly
At what we do not know.
Don’t worry, we are Christians.
It’s okay to discuss and dissect
Our brothers and sisters,
Like cadavers on a slab.
We make better choices for you
When you are not there.
We know the path
You should tread.
Don’t worry, we are Christians.
We agreed you need prayer,
Though we did not pray
For you today.
In our mock humility
We spoke of how the world,
And you, would be better,
If only…
Don’t worry, we are Christians.
We only spoke in love
And Christian clichés as
We ‘fixed’ you in our talks.
We also pondered why
Churches are divided.
It doesn’t make any sense.
Why can’t we get along?
Don’t worry, we are Christians.
As our talks moved
From you to the church
We shook our heads knowingly…
Don’t worry, we are Christians.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
What's Your Motive?
Why do we do, say, write and even think the things that we do? One answer that comes to mind is motive of the heart. A book called, 'In His Steps', challenged people to consider one question before making any decision. That question was WWJD, What would Jesus Do?"
Motive of the heart is essentially the same thing. It examines the why of what we do. Why do we feel the need to say and do certain th...ings? What do we hope to accomplish? Do we seek to be noticed, heard, validated, affirmed, accepted, approved or seen? Do we want to be right, to feel superior or to wound, even for a moment? Are we motivated by malice, greed, envy, rejection or a need for revenge?
Do we do things simply out of love, care and concern for our family, friends and neighbors? If we considered our motives before we acted would the world be a more quiet place? Would we write less, talk less or even do less?
Maybe it isn't that we would do anything less. We would just do it differently. Perhaps there are some things that a pure motive would not allow at all but, ultimately, if our motives were considered before each speech, each post, each sermon, each lesson, each shared moment, then maybe life would be sweeter. Perhaps true unity would abound.
Even as I write this post I have to ask myself the same question I present to you. What is my motive? My answer for you is that I want to share because these are the questions I ponder almost daily. As much as I love to write and share, I find myself writing less as I question my own motives.
It is my hope to write when truly inspired by the Lord, so that anything written would have more of an eternal value. Less of me and more of Him. Be encouraged and be not afraid to be silent in the moments when you want to shout, to be seen, to be heard. God sees you, hears you and knows you. It is my hope that we would be most satisfied in Him.
Motive of the heart is essentially the same thing. It examines the why of what we do. Why do we feel the need to say and do certain th...ings? What do we hope to accomplish? Do we seek to be noticed, heard, validated, affirmed, accepted, approved or seen? Do we want to be right, to feel superior or to wound, even for a moment? Are we motivated by malice, greed, envy, rejection or a need for revenge?
Do we do things simply out of love, care and concern for our family, friends and neighbors? If we considered our motives before we acted would the world be a more quiet place? Would we write less, talk less or even do less?
Maybe it isn't that we would do anything less. We would just do it differently. Perhaps there are some things that a pure motive would not allow at all but, ultimately, if our motives were considered before each speech, each post, each sermon, each lesson, each shared moment, then maybe life would be sweeter. Perhaps true unity would abound.
Even as I write this post I have to ask myself the same question I present to you. What is my motive? My answer for you is that I want to share because these are the questions I ponder almost daily. As much as I love to write and share, I find myself writing less as I question my own motives.
It is my hope to write when truly inspired by the Lord, so that anything written would have more of an eternal value. Less of me and more of Him. Be encouraged and be not afraid to be silent in the moments when you want to shout, to be seen, to be heard. God sees you, hears you and knows you. It is my hope that we would be most satisfied in Him.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
At the Feet of Jesus
I must write and tell you what the Lord has done. This past month has been a month of ministry to and from the Lord. I am humbled in His Sight and in His Presence.
A few weeks ago my aunt invited me to an intercessory prayer meeting. It takes place on Monday nights. It is a group of believers who gather from different churches to come together in the name of the Lord. The Lord is ministered to through songs, praises and prayers. It is a beautiful move of the Holy Spirit as folks come together to pray for one another. We pray for the local and state governments, the nation and for Israel. As the Spirit moves upon a person's heart other prayers are offered. I have always loved prayer and deep sea diving in regards to the things of the Lord.
As I have attended the Lord has been working within me, healing so many place in my spirit and in my heart. It has been humbling as the Lord pours out the fragrance of His love upon me.
Last night at the meeting, as I was praying, I began to think about the feet of Jesus. Three women from the bible came to mind that were found at the feet of Jesus. They were the adulteress who was to be stoned, the woman who washed Jesus' feet with her tears, and Mary, the sister to Martha.
All three women were found at His feet for different reasons. The adulteress, at His feet, found forgiveness. The woman who washed His feet with her tears and dried His feet with her hair offered unashamed worship. Mary broke tradition and offered seeming neglect of her duties so that she may not neglect her Lord.
Each woman had a different story but all were found at the same place...at the feet of Jesus. Forgiveness, worship with complete abandon, unbroken attention to His words. Wow. As those images and thoughts filled my mind I found myself longing to only be found at the feet of Jesus. The understanding of what that meant deepened for me greatly that night.
We really cannot let anything or anyone keep us from the feet of Jesus. I don't want to break fellowship with my Lord. His work, His message, His love, His mission...all are too important to be anywhere else.
I was broken and hurting from many years of many things that even I cannot give reference to. The memories of most have faded but somewhere along the way, the daggers of hurt and wounds inflicted remained. Jesus has been loving me through that this past month. I can truly say with sincerity that I do not want any of my yesterdays to hinder my tomorrows and my right nows. I lay it all down at the feet of Jesus.
I have returned refreshed and renewed. My burdens are being lifted as His love fills me. His call upon my life has been renewed by His grace and precious favor. I love you all. I look forward to sharing more with you about what the Lord is doing in my life.
How much of the Lord do you want? I pray that you, too, be found at the feet of Jesus.
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Returning to Our First Love and Becoming the Church Again
Revelation 2:4-5 (Jesus speaking)
"Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place-unless you repent."
These words were written to the Church of Ephesus during John’s vision. When I read them a few nights ago during my devotion time the words seemed to resonate with me. I know that my love for the church, at least organized church, has grown very cold. I can remember when I was very zealous for the Lord and a time when I trusted the church body enough to bring others with me. That trust has been broken so many times by various organized institutions that now I am just tired. I am tired of trying to know how to fit in, how to integrate, how to converse, how to bond…simply tired. Should gathering together to learn about and worship the Creator and our Savior be so hard?
I love the Lord and I truly love His people, lost or saved. What I struggle to love is the gathering ritual that rarely ever extends beyond the doors of the church once you leave. I ponder the question almost daily as to why it has become this way. Maybe it is because church used to be an extension of connections and bonds already made or easily forged in years gone by. You weren’t trying to bond in only an hour or two once a week. Communities were smaller, with most folks growing up together in one place their whole life, attending the same church.
Now we have transplants, people who move into the area who no longer share a lifetime’s knowledge of their neighbors. They don’t have the memories, the same stories or the same friends. I have been a transplant several times over. I have seen the goodness in so many that I have gathered with over the years. I saw the evidence of Christ in their life and heard it in their words. I acknowledge that most of what I am writing about could be deemed as an innocent oversight by those who have long been settled in one place.
This is not about blame but about my trying to understand church today. I certainly don’t want interaction that is brought on by a sense of duty or obligation. What I seek is perhaps a thing of the past. When I sit and ponder it I feel mournful. My spirit mourns for the zeal and the innocent love I once had. I yearn for depth in my interactions. I like deep talks about the things of God and other philosophical things. I like to listen to other people’s stories and learn about their life.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 states, “Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
This scripture is often given in regards to the power of numbers in faith and prayer. A threefold cord is not three strands of rope dangling separately from one another. Those strands are woven together and that is what makes the cord stronger and able to withstand more.
Likewise, three people with no real connection may offer slightly better resistance to an enemy, but three people whose lives are woven together in interaction, shared faith and shared lives are going to be stronger than those with no connections. Those people woven together are going to be more acquainted with each other’s strengths and weaknesses. They will know best how to defend one another against the enemy and they will care more about each other and take their task of praying for one another more seriously because they know each other and have developed that bond.
Slow down. Take time to have your life intertwined with others, so that you may draw strength from a strongly braided cord of fellowship and love. Don't allow your disappointments with others to keep you from your first love of Jesus. We can become the Church once again. We can break the ritual of gathering and, instead, fellowship one with another. Let us gather around our tables, call, write and pray for one another. Live on purpose. Fellowship on purpose.
When we gather at church, that should be an extension of what already exists the rest of the week. It is through that we may truly worship the Father in spirit and in truth. No longer will our minds be distracted and our hearts be drawn away from our First Love.
I want to return to my first love and am seeking the Lord daily. I am letting go of the hurt and disappointment so that my eyes may be on Jesus and my spiritual ears attentive to what His Spirit would say. I don’t want my focus to be on all this, but I must acknowledge it in order to move forward from it. I pray that you may move forward from it as well.
"Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place-unless you repent."
These words were written to the Church of Ephesus during John’s vision. When I read them a few nights ago during my devotion time the words seemed to resonate with me. I know that my love for the church, at least organized church, has grown very cold. I can remember when I was very zealous for the Lord and a time when I trusted the church body enough to bring others with me. That trust has been broken so many times by various organized institutions that now I am just tired. I am tired of trying to know how to fit in, how to integrate, how to converse, how to bond…simply tired. Should gathering together to learn about and worship the Creator and our Savior be so hard?
I love the Lord and I truly love His people, lost or saved. What I struggle to love is the gathering ritual that rarely ever extends beyond the doors of the church once you leave. I ponder the question almost daily as to why it has become this way. Maybe it is because church used to be an extension of connections and bonds already made or easily forged in years gone by. You weren’t trying to bond in only an hour or two once a week. Communities were smaller, with most folks growing up together in one place their whole life, attending the same church.
Now we have transplants, people who move into the area who no longer share a lifetime’s knowledge of their neighbors. They don’t have the memories, the same stories or the same friends. I have been a transplant several times over. I have seen the goodness in so many that I have gathered with over the years. I saw the evidence of Christ in their life and heard it in their words. I acknowledge that most of what I am writing about could be deemed as an innocent oversight by those who have long been settled in one place.
This is not about blame but about my trying to understand church today. I certainly don’t want interaction that is brought on by a sense of duty or obligation. What I seek is perhaps a thing of the past. When I sit and ponder it I feel mournful. My spirit mourns for the zeal and the innocent love I once had. I yearn for depth in my interactions. I like deep talks about the things of God and other philosophical things. I like to listen to other people’s stories and learn about their life.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 states, “Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
This scripture is often given in regards to the power of numbers in faith and prayer. A threefold cord is not three strands of rope dangling separately from one another. Those strands are woven together and that is what makes the cord stronger and able to withstand more.
Likewise, three people with no real connection may offer slightly better resistance to an enemy, but three people whose lives are woven together in interaction, shared faith and shared lives are going to be stronger than those with no connections. Those people woven together are going to be more acquainted with each other’s strengths and weaknesses. They will know best how to defend one another against the enemy and they will care more about each other and take their task of praying for one another more seriously because they know each other and have developed that bond.
Slow down. Take time to have your life intertwined with others, so that you may draw strength from a strongly braided cord of fellowship and love. Don't allow your disappointments with others to keep you from your first love of Jesus. We can become the Church once again. We can break the ritual of gathering and, instead, fellowship one with another. Let us gather around our tables, call, write and pray for one another. Live on purpose. Fellowship on purpose.
When we gather at church, that should be an extension of what already exists the rest of the week. It is through that we may truly worship the Father in spirit and in truth. No longer will our minds be distracted and our hearts be drawn away from our First Love.
I want to return to my first love and am seeking the Lord daily. I am letting go of the hurt and disappointment so that my eyes may be on Jesus and my spiritual ears attentive to what His Spirit would say. I don’t want my focus to be on all this, but I must acknowledge it in order to move forward from it. I pray that you may move forward from it as well.
Does Anyone See Me?
Does anyone see me? I cannot look you in the eye because
I live in the darkness of the shadows on the ground. My eyes cannot lift from
their downward stare. Does anyone hear me? I cannot listen to you because the
voices that rage inside me deafen me to your whisper. They tell me I am
worthless, stupid and no good. I am cold and cannot feel the warmth of your
embrace. The walls that are built around me are made of steel. You cannot get
in and I cannot get out. I am trapped and I am lonely. I feel nothing, yet I hate. I hate
you. I hate myself. I rage at you in anger and answer you in silence. You don't
want to know me. What do you know about my pain? I am ugly. I have done many
wrong things. I have hurt others and I have hurt myself. I am without hope.
I want to die.
I'm going to kill myself.
I have a gun.
As I put it to my temple hot tears stream down my face. A flood of mixed emotion overwhelms me. Loneliness, anger, hurt, fear and sadness all wash over me. Memories rush in of my miserable life, the people that have betrayed me, people I have hurt, those who forgot about me or never saw me at all, everyone who confirmed in me that I was no good. I won't even leave a note. Why bother? No one will even know I'm gone. I never mattered anyway. I close my eyes and begin to squeeze the trigger.
At that exact moment something happened. In my darkness I heard someone call my name. It was faint but distinct. I then heard four words repeated over and over. At first they were spoken softly but increased in volume with each turn spoken. "I want to live. I want to live. I want to live. I want to live. I want to live." Louder and louder until those very words were being screamed over and over. I realized it was I who was screaming as tears once again assaulted me. I wept bitterly and longingly. I wept with shame and remorse. I wept for the lost innocence of the child I once was. I wept for my misspent youth. I wept for the loneliness that consumed me and for alienating everyone and everything that I ever cared for. I heaved great gulping sobs as my misery was poured out. As the tears poured I heard my name spoken again by the same distinct voice. I felt a wave of peace overpower me and it seemed like a healing balm was being poured over me. This balm touched every piece of my bruised, broken, torn heart and crushed spirit. Slowly my sobs subsided and I sat basking in this flow of peace, warmth.....and love. I had never felt this kind of love before. It was all consuming and seemed to know me through and through and loved me anyway.
A third time I heard my name spoken. This time I looked upward. He said His name was Jesus and told me that He loved me. He shared with me God's word and how He died on a cross so long ago in order to make a way for me to have a relationship with God the Father. He explained that if I would believe in Him I would be saved. I would be restored to God and have a place in heaven. I was in awe.
Once again tears filled my eyes, but this time it was for the joy, peace and love that I had just been given so freely. I knelt down and I accepted this gift offered to me by Jesus. I asked Him to come into my heart and to live and reign in my life. I asked Him to forgive me for all the wrong I had done, for all the hate I had shown, toward myself and toward others. He answered my prayer. That night I was saved twice. Jesus saved me from myself and then saved me from the curse of sin. Thank you, Jesus, for loving me so much.
As I put it to my temple hot tears stream down my face. A flood of mixed emotion overwhelms me. Loneliness, anger, hurt, fear and sadness all wash over me. Memories rush in of my miserable life, the people that have betrayed me, people I have hurt, those who forgot about me or never saw me at all, everyone who confirmed in me that I was no good. I won't even leave a note. Why bother? No one will even know I'm gone. I never mattered anyway. I close my eyes and begin to squeeze the trigger.
At that exact moment something happened. In my darkness I heard someone call my name. It was faint but distinct. I then heard four words repeated over and over. At first they were spoken softly but increased in volume with each turn spoken. "I want to live. I want to live. I want to live. I want to live. I want to live." Louder and louder until those very words were being screamed over and over. I realized it was I who was screaming as tears once again assaulted me. I wept bitterly and longingly. I wept with shame and remorse. I wept for the lost innocence of the child I once was. I wept for my misspent youth. I wept for the loneliness that consumed me and for alienating everyone and everything that I ever cared for. I heaved great gulping sobs as my misery was poured out. As the tears poured I heard my name spoken again by the same distinct voice. I felt a wave of peace overpower me and it seemed like a healing balm was being poured over me. This balm touched every piece of my bruised, broken, torn heart and crushed spirit. Slowly my sobs subsided and I sat basking in this flow of peace, warmth.....and love. I had never felt this kind of love before. It was all consuming and seemed to know me through and through and loved me anyway.
A third time I heard my name spoken. This time I looked upward. He said His name was Jesus and told me that He loved me. He shared with me God's word and how He died on a cross so long ago in order to make a way for me to have a relationship with God the Father. He explained that if I would believe in Him I would be saved. I would be restored to God and have a place in heaven. I was in awe.
Once again tears filled my eyes, but this time it was for the joy, peace and love that I had just been given so freely. I knelt down and I accepted this gift offered to me by Jesus. I asked Him to come into my heart and to live and reign in my life. I asked Him to forgive me for all the wrong I had done, for all the hate I had shown, toward myself and toward others. He answered my prayer. That night I was saved twice. Jesus saved me from myself and then saved me from the curse of sin. Thank you, Jesus, for loving me so much.
Because I Cannot Go with You
Sometimes words are not enough to comfort the soul of someone
you love. Sometimes the only one who can really hear what you are trying to say
is Jesus. Despite the valiant efforts of ones who love you so much, despite
wanting to offer you comfort that will ease your pain, despite all this
sometimes you are alone. Not alone as in lonely but rather a necessary
aloneness...an aloneness that alienates you from everyone while drawing you
closer to Jesus. At the very core of your being where the most tender part of
your heart resides and is also most fragile and pained, it is necessary to go
there. However, you cannot go there with anyone on this earth. You can only
make this journey with Jesus. Just as you reach the core of your deepest pain,
fear and regret Jesus may stop and wait for you. Perhaps it is needed for you
to go some of the journey completely alone, pick up your heart and feel it.
Hold it in your hands, feel the tremors and embrace its sobs. Look at it, note
the tears in its delicate flesh, and caress the bruises of wounds inflicted. Do
not despise what you see. Rather, weep for the callous part where anger has
tried to reside and weep for it may have felt forgotten. Does it feel cold? It
is weak and seems to be barely beating. Jesus beckons you, "Bring your
heart to Me.” Carry it to Him. Do not hope He can heal it, believe that He can.
Then once you believe do not settle for believing He can heal it, know that He
can. Become so persuaded in Him that it is not a matter of if or when but it
simply is. Jesus is. Jesus really loves you. Jesus really loves you. Jesus
really loves you. Do you love yourself? Hold out your arms, open your hands and
let Jesus have your heart. Trust Him.
Isaiah 53:4-6
Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken,Smitten by God, and afflicted.5 But was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.6 All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way; And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.
Isaiah 53:4-6
Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken,Smitten by God, and afflicted.5 But was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.6 All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way; And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.
John 3:16-17
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.
Matthew 11:28-30 (Jesus speaking)
"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Call out Jesus. Give Him your heart that you may be made new. Allow Him to minister to your deepest hurts, sorrow, hardness and pain.
Romans 10:8-13
But what does it say? “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart” (that is, the word of faith which we preach): that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him. For “whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
Monday, May 12, 2014
Press in and Press on with Jesus
The story in Mark 5:21-42 truly speaks of two people who pressed in and pressed on.
21 Now when Jesus had crossed over again by boat to the other side, a great multitude gathered to Him; and He was by the sea.
22 And behold, one of the rulers of the synagogue came, Jairus by name. And when he saw Him, he fell at His feet
23 and begged Him earnestly, saying, “My little daughter lies at the point of death. Come and lay Your hands on her, that she may be healed, and she will live.”
24 So Jesus went with him, and a great multitude followed Him and thronged Him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jesus met Jairus, a ruler of the synagogue, an important man by title. Jairus' daughter is sick to the point of death and he implores Jesus to heal her. Jesus went with him and a large crowd followed them and pressed in all around Him.
Now enters an unnamed woman, without title or possibly any standing in the community. She had a health issue that had plagued her for twelve years. She was broke and still not well. However, when she heard Jesus was in town she sought him out. She did not call out to him. She did not approach him. She had heard enough about him that an introduction was not necessary. Words were not necessary.
She was part of that crowd that thronged Him on His way to Jairus' house. Despite being part of the crowd she was different from the others. She was on a mission. She knew that if she could just get close enough to touch the hem of His garment she would be made well. So, with determination and possibly her last bit of strength, she pressed in and pressed in and pressed in. She kept pressing in until she touched Him. Perhaps it was just a fingerip that grazed the hem of His garment. Whatever the touch, it was enough that Jesus stopped and asked, "Who touched My clothes?"
She was part of that crowd that thronged Him on His way to Jairus' house. Despite being part of the crowd she was different from the others. She was on a mission. She knew that if she could just get close enough to touch the hem of His garment she would be made well. So, with determination and possibly her last bit of strength, she pressed in and pressed in and pressed in. She kept pressing in until she touched Him. Perhaps it was just a fingerip that grazed the hem of His garment. Whatever the touch, it was enough that Jesus stopped and asked, "Who touched My clothes?"
His disciples, despite seeing all His wondrous works and sitting under His teachings daily, were puzzled. They answer Him, "You see the multitude thronging You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’” But Jesus knew that faith had drawn power from Him. Ignoring His disciples' question, He looked and saw the woman. She fell at His feet trembling and told Him her story, the truth of why she touched Him. With love and compassion He answered her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction."
35 While He was still speaking, some came from the ruler of the synagogue’s house who said, “Your daughter is dead. Why trouble the Teacher any further?”
Alas! The need that Jairus had was distracted by the woman who touched Jesus. Now his daughter was dead. Take notice of the next thing Jesus did. He thinned the crowd down to Peter, James and John and continued to the house of the ruler. Jesus was not interested in being a showman. His only concern was to meet the need. He only took those with whom He had a relationship with. Next, Jesus makes an incredible statement.
39 When He came in, He said to them, “Why make this commotion and weep? The child is not dead, but sleeping.”
He then thins another crowd and puts the naysayers out. It is important to surround yourself only with people of faith. Dismiss the naysayers in your life, especially when you are asking the Lord to meet a need you may have. If you allow God, He will remove the scorners and mockers from your life.
39 When He came in, He said to them, “Why make this commotion and weep? The child is not dead, but sleeping.”
He then thins another crowd and puts the naysayers out. It is important to surround yourself only with people of faith. Dismiss the naysayers in your life, especially when you are asking the Lord to meet a need you may have. If you allow God, He will remove the scorners and mockers from your life.
40A And they ridiculed Him. But when He had put them all outside, He took the father and the mother of the child, and those who were with Him, and entered where the child was lying.
Jesus only kept the father, mother, Peter, James and John with Him. The parents represented the ones with the need. Jairus sought Jesus for his need, therefore it is safe to say that he believed in Jesus and what He could do. Peter, James and John were part of His inner circle.
41 Then He took the child by the hand, and said to her, “Talitha, cumi,” which is translated, “Little girl, I say to you, arise.” 42 Immediately the girl arose and walked, for she was twelve years of age. And they were overcome with great amazement.
In this story, it is not stated that Jairus objected to Jesus meeting the needs of the unnamed woman. He was not shown as anxious, impatient, jealous nor demanding, despite his status versus the status of the woman. Fear was never a factor, and when the chance for fear came, Jesus immediately dealt with it in Jairus. He told Jairus, "Do not be afraid." Don't believe the report of man when you are walking with the Son of God. Once again, we must keep our eyes on Jesus, especially when trusting Him to minister to our needs.
This story in Mark is so beautiful. It shows that Jesus is no respecter of persons, male or female, status or none. He ministered to both. Jesus was not moved by the reports of the servants that spoke of death. He was not deterred nor anxious.
If we allow ourselves to be ruled by what we see or hear and by delays or setbacks, then we are not allowing Jesus complete control. We are not truly trusting in Him to the point of death.
Are you part of the crowd following after Jesus or are you like the woman...in the crowd, but not of the crowd...pressing in. Does your faith allow you to reach Jesus and to hear Him say, "Your faith has made you well."?
Jairus could have told Jesus to go back upon hearing that his daughter was dead. He could have blamed the unnamed woman for robbing him of the chance to have his daughter healed. He chose to believe. What do you choose?
When it seems your needs are being delayed or that the Master is distracted, remember His words to Jairus, "Do not be afraid; only believe."
When you press in like the woman and press on like Jairus, it is then you will hear the Master speak and see Him work.
If we allow ourselves to be ruled by what we see or hear and by delays or setbacks, then we are not allowing Jesus complete control. We are not truly trusting in Him to the point of death.
Are you part of the crowd following after Jesus or are you like the woman...in the crowd, but not of the crowd...pressing in. Does your faith allow you to reach Jesus and to hear Him say, "Your faith has made you well."?
When you press in like the woman and press on like Jairus, it is then you will hear the Master speak and see Him work.
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Child Rape...Two Words We Like to Keep in the Dark
It is so easy to read the words of a story about something that happened somewhere else, to someone else, in some other town or country...anywhere but here. We digest the news desensitized to the real impact of what is going on all around us. We see the news portrayed in our favorite crime shows, giving us a fictional account of a very real issue. There are so many issues that plague humanity; poverty, lack of clean water, lack of medical needs, degradation of women and children, child soldiers, forced labor and human trafficking, just to name a few.
Child Rape. It's so much easier to call it human trafficking. Both often mean the same, but human trafficking almost sounds glossy compared to child rape. With the word trafficking we can keep our minds from being too specific, but what image is conjured in your mind by the phrase child rape?
Tonight as I sit here I contemplate this world around me. I stumbled upon a story about a doctor in Ghana who performed illegal abortions. While his patients lay on the table he proceeeds to rape them, one by one. That story takes me to the dark thoughts in my mind. It takes me to the imagined images of children who are being raped daily, multiple times a day. They are sold into the lifestyle of having to be someone's perverse pleasure. Don't misunderstand. I DO NOT want to think about what I know to be true as one of the darkest plagues to cover this earth. But, let me ask you, does my not thinking about it cause it to stop for even one child?
It may not be that my thinking about it can save one...or can it? If all I do is think, then, no, I have accomplished nothing. However, if I apply action to what I see, imagine, learn about and know....then we begin to see results. I do not have any formal training to combat child rape. I may not be trained in search and rescue, but I can pray. I can be informed. I can donate money to those who are trained. I can become trained. I can make people uncomfortable by pointing out that children are being raped everyday and every night. I can shine light into the darkness by talking about it, writing about it.
While we sleep, they are working. They are terrorized and terrified. They have no voice, no one to champion their cause. They are soundbytes in the media, a casual occurrence that happens anywhere but here.
They are disposable, like so many other toys and gadgets have become. Once they become damaged beyond use they are replaced. Does it bother you that as you are reading this a child is being raped? Does it make you angry? Sad? Frustrated? Does it cause you to FEEL anything??
Yes, it makes me feel all that and more. May I never stop feeling and may I start DOING more. You can start by praying. If you don't pray, then give some money to those who need support to continue to rescue and rehabilitate these children. Even if you do pray, give money if you can. If you don't pray and cannot give, then TALK about it. WRITE about it. TWEET IT. FACEBOOK IT. Keep dragging it into the LIGHT. Make PHONE CALLS to legislators to encourage them to require laws regarding human trafficking, child rape and forced labor. Host an event in your community that expounds on these issues. Help to educate others.
Exodus Cry is holding an Abolition Summit in August in Missouri. Why not go and get educated? Meet some of the people doing the hard yards. If not Exodus Cry then pick an event somewhere. Watch some documentaries on the issues. They are not always easy to watch, but they are necessary in order to understand.
You can click this link for other links related to the issue. It also includes information on the abolition summit.
Human Trafficking and Human Rights Resources
The point is.....DO SOMETHING. FEEL SOMETHING. Lives depend on what you choose to do. Your voice and your action MATTER.
Child Rape. It's so much easier to call it human trafficking. Both often mean the same, but human trafficking almost sounds glossy compared to child rape. With the word trafficking we can keep our minds from being too specific, but what image is conjured in your mind by the phrase child rape?
Tonight as I sit here I contemplate this world around me. I stumbled upon a story about a doctor in Ghana who performed illegal abortions. While his patients lay on the table he proceeeds to rape them, one by one. That story takes me to the dark thoughts in my mind. It takes me to the imagined images of children who are being raped daily, multiple times a day. They are sold into the lifestyle of having to be someone's perverse pleasure. Don't misunderstand. I DO NOT want to think about what I know to be true as one of the darkest plagues to cover this earth. But, let me ask you, does my not thinking about it cause it to stop for even one child?
It may not be that my thinking about it can save one...or can it? If all I do is think, then, no, I have accomplished nothing. However, if I apply action to what I see, imagine, learn about and know....then we begin to see results. I do not have any formal training to combat child rape. I may not be trained in search and rescue, but I can pray. I can be informed. I can donate money to those who are trained. I can become trained. I can make people uncomfortable by pointing out that children are being raped everyday and every night. I can shine light into the darkness by talking about it, writing about it.
While we sleep, they are working. They are terrorized and terrified. They have no voice, no one to champion their cause. They are soundbytes in the media, a casual occurrence that happens anywhere but here.
They are disposable, like so many other toys and gadgets have become. Once they become damaged beyond use they are replaced. Does it bother you that as you are reading this a child is being raped? Does it make you angry? Sad? Frustrated? Does it cause you to FEEL anything??
Yes, it makes me feel all that and more. May I never stop feeling and may I start DOING more. You can start by praying. If you don't pray, then give some money to those who need support to continue to rescue and rehabilitate these children. Even if you do pray, give money if you can. If you don't pray and cannot give, then TALK about it. WRITE about it. TWEET IT. FACEBOOK IT. Keep dragging it into the LIGHT. Make PHONE CALLS to legislators to encourage them to require laws regarding human trafficking, child rape and forced labor. Host an event in your community that expounds on these issues. Help to educate others.
Exodus Cry is holding an Abolition Summit in August in Missouri. Why not go and get educated? Meet some of the people doing the hard yards. If not Exodus Cry then pick an event somewhere. Watch some documentaries on the issues. They are not always easy to watch, but they are necessary in order to understand.
You can click this link for other links related to the issue. It also includes information on the abolition summit.
Human Trafficking and Human Rights Resources
The point is.....DO SOMETHING. FEEL SOMETHING. Lives depend on what you choose to do. Your voice and your action MATTER.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Human Trafficking and Human Rights Resources
Although I am not yet on the frontlines of helping to fight the epidemic against humanity known as human trafficking, I do care deeply. I seek to become more educated, aware and pro-active in how my life can affect the lives of those who do not have a voice nor a choice. The following is a small list of organizations that are fighting tirelessly to help bring freedom to the oppressed. Please add your organization in the comments and any other resources you have to help those of us that wish to join the fight.
If you have any information related to trainings or conferences that are coming, PLEASE add a link to those events.
**UPDATE** I have begun adding organizations that contribute to humanitarian issues, in addition to human trafficking.
I.C.E.
Three Avocados
LOVE 146
The Polaris Project
ECPAT USA
Hookers for Jesus
Rescue and Restore
International Justice Mission
Not For Sale
END IT Movement
Fair Trade USA
Free the Slaves
The A21 Campaign
Exodus Cry
Exodus Cry 2014 Abolition Summit
Nefarious Documentary
If you have any information related to trainings or conferences that are coming, PLEASE add a link to those events.
**UPDATE** I have begun adding organizations that contribute to humanitarian issues, in addition to human trafficking.
I.C.E.
Three Avocados
LOVE 146
The Polaris Project
ECPAT USA
Hookers for Jesus
Rescue and Restore
International Justice Mission
Not For Sale
END IT Movement
Fair Trade USA
Free the Slaves
The A21 Campaign
Exodus Cry
Exodus Cry 2014 Abolition Summit
Nefarious Documentary
Spiritual Tumbleweeds
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You look like a monkey,
And smell like one too.
Do you remember learning that little rhyme as children? I recently said it to my daughter, who is seven. She was not amused and got her feelings hurt. Never mind that she does not look like a monkey nor does she smell like one. Even the truth of knowing that did not seem to help her feel better. Of course, after a few minutes she went off to play and it all seemed to be forgotten. I wonder if it was forgotten and, if not, does the thought of it still make her sad.
Now, imagine if you could converse with a monkey and you said this poem to it. The monkey gets hurt and goes home to his father. Then imagine this is the exchange later between that monkey and it's father:
Monkey: Dad! My friend just made a poem about me. They said I looked like a money and smell like one too.
Dad: Well, are you a monkey?
Monkey: Yes.
Dad: Do you smell like a monkey?
Monkey: Yes
Dad: Then what is the problem? You have always been a monkey. You were created to be a monkey. It only stands to reason that you would also smell like a monkey.
Monkey: Oh! Okay. Thanks, Dad!
This morning I have been talking to the Lord, trying to clear the clutter from my mind. Some tears were shed as I cried out to the Lord in repentance for being who He created me to be. You may wonder what do I mean? Sometimes our best friends can have the best intentions. Sometimes we do the same. We offer advice and perspective that sometimes has labels attached to it. Sometimes these labels attach themselves to us. That was the case for me.
A few weeks ago one of my friends observed that I was like a tumbleweed. It was noted that tumbleweeds grow no roots. The meaning of that was in reference to my hesitation to be seated in one church and become a rooted member of that church. In a different conversation the observation was made that few Christians have 'staying power' in the church today. I have pondered these statements off and on for the past few weeks. I have even looked up what others had to say about spiritual tumbleweeds. Unfortunately, the information I found was very lacking in postive meaning.
In regards to staying power I would say that I view that phrase differently. For me, staying power is in relation to our relationship with Jesus. Through every circumstance, good or bad, do we stay in our faith, committed to Him and His word? Do we stay in faith in our prayers that have yet to be answered? Do we stay in faith believing against an unbelieving world? Does staying power relate to staying in a church simply for the sake of staying?
As far as being a spiritual tumbleweed, I have pondered that often. Is everyone made to be seated in one church and one church only? Are we to minister only to those within immediate arms reach? For me, I say no. I have not blown in and out of churches willy nilly. One of my favorite churches, when in my early twenties, split. Many times we have moved. Geography has played a role. I have children that I would like to raise in church, but not just any church. I want to be seated where the Lord says to sit, and if the Lord says to go, then I want to be obedient to that as well.
Here are a few descriptions about tumbleweeds listed by another blogger. All his words are in italics and quotation marks. I will post a link to his blog at the end.
-"When growing, a tumbleweed is firmly planted in the soil. But at the end of its growth season, it breaks loose, never to be planted again." His point with this one is that, "tumbleweed believers have not allowed their ROOTS to sink deep into the doctrines of truth."
In the life a of a tumbleweed it has reached the end of its growth season when it breaks loose. Often in churches, when a believer has reached a certain spiritual maturity the Lord often calls him or her out from whence they were grown. They are broken off to be sent to a new destination.
-"Tumbleweed believers spread their unwanted seeds at RANDOM. One of the reasons farmers hate tumbleweeds is because each tumbleweed has about 250,000 seeds. Imagine that. As a tumbleweed blows across the land, it scatters a quarter of a million seeds that potentially become tumbleweeds. And their seeds can grow in a wide range of temperatures. So all year long, farmers have to put up with this nuisance."
He likens the farmer to the church. I liken the farmer to the world. We, as tumbleweeds, are spreading seeds of the gospel of Christ. The world hates us and sees these seeds as a nuisance. They seem random, except when you liken the wind to the Holy Spirit being what determines the course of the tumbleweed and its seeds.
-"Tumbleweed believers blown by the wind are helpless to decide their own ROUTE. Tumbleweed believers can’t decide their own route. They’re in and out. This way, then that way."
The blogger references tumbleweed believers as those that are double-minded, tossed to and fro on the waves of an ocean.
Again, I liken the wind to the Holy Spirit. When we are completely at rest in the will of God, does it matter to where we are blown?
-"Tumbleweed believers begin to ROAM when confronted by a little pressure. Over the years I have seen people who refuse to deal with their sin. In fact, a lot of pastors are afraid to talk about sin from their pulpits. Why? Because people will pack up their marbles and leave. So pastors won’t talk about sin. My friend, pastors need to speak about backsliding and the devastating consequences of sin. Because these things will destroy you. But those who don’t want to hear the truth will get offended. And off they go like a tumbleweed."
I wholeheartedly agree with the author when he says pastors need to not be afraid to speak the truth. I do not agree that refusal to deal with your sin makes you a tumbleweed. He already stated that tumbleweeds reach the end of their growth season before they break away and become tumbleweeds. A believer unwilling to deal with his sin is not mature or nearly finished growing. Hence, he cannot be a tumbleweed, but rather, a child still requiring milk rather than the meat of God's word.
It has been a blessing to me to have fellowshipped in different churches throughout the years. I have been to Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian, Non-denominational, Pentecostal, Assemblies of God and Apostolic churches. The ones I have enjoyed the most are the ones where the Spirit of God is allowed to be present. That is not ruled by a denomination but by a willingness of the congregation to let the Lord lead and to follow His lead. Those are the moments when souls get saved, lives get changed, bodies get healed and brokenness is restored. Ahh, the sweet Presence of the Lord.
So, am I a spiritual tumbleweed? Yes, yes I am. I have never wanted to stay in one location forever simply because there were so many places the Lord could take me. If I root myself in one spot, then how would I be able to quickly be obedient to the Lord's call? I am not saying that I can never be a pemanent part of a church body, but really that is not what tops my list. I am happy to become a member when the Lord tells me I must. I am not opposed to growing roots, but again, unless the Lord plants me then it would only be in an effort to appease man. I admire those whom the Lord has called to one place and one place only. That works for them because they were created that way.
So, like the little monkey, I will be content to follow the advice of my Father. I will be content to be who He created me to be.
The world may hate me
for the seeds I sow
and the church
may not understand
the wind with which I blow
Nevertheless, I must go
Where my Father sends me.
To the North, South,
East and West,
I trust my Lord
that He knows best.
In His Presence
I find rest
Forever,
His tumbleweed.
Link to blog mentioned: Tumbleweed Believers by Steve Hill
Violets are blue,
You look like a monkey,
And smell like one too.
Do you remember learning that little rhyme as children? I recently said it to my daughter, who is seven. She was not amused and got her feelings hurt. Never mind that she does not look like a monkey nor does she smell like one. Even the truth of knowing that did not seem to help her feel better. Of course, after a few minutes she went off to play and it all seemed to be forgotten. I wonder if it was forgotten and, if not, does the thought of it still make her sad.
Now, imagine if you could converse with a monkey and you said this poem to it. The monkey gets hurt and goes home to his father. Then imagine this is the exchange later between that monkey and it's father:
Monkey: Dad! My friend just made a poem about me. They said I looked like a money and smell like one too.
Dad: Well, are you a monkey?
Monkey: Yes.
Dad: Do you smell like a monkey?
Monkey: Yes
Dad: Then what is the problem? You have always been a monkey. You were created to be a monkey. It only stands to reason that you would also smell like a monkey.
Monkey: Oh! Okay. Thanks, Dad!
This morning I have been talking to the Lord, trying to clear the clutter from my mind. Some tears were shed as I cried out to the Lord in repentance for being who He created me to be. You may wonder what do I mean? Sometimes our best friends can have the best intentions. Sometimes we do the same. We offer advice and perspective that sometimes has labels attached to it. Sometimes these labels attach themselves to us. That was the case for me.
A few weeks ago one of my friends observed that I was like a tumbleweed. It was noted that tumbleweeds grow no roots. The meaning of that was in reference to my hesitation to be seated in one church and become a rooted member of that church. In a different conversation the observation was made that few Christians have 'staying power' in the church today. I have pondered these statements off and on for the past few weeks. I have even looked up what others had to say about spiritual tumbleweeds. Unfortunately, the information I found was very lacking in postive meaning.
In regards to staying power I would say that I view that phrase differently. For me, staying power is in relation to our relationship with Jesus. Through every circumstance, good or bad, do we stay in our faith, committed to Him and His word? Do we stay in faith in our prayers that have yet to be answered? Do we stay in faith believing against an unbelieving world? Does staying power relate to staying in a church simply for the sake of staying?
As far as being a spiritual tumbleweed, I have pondered that often. Is everyone made to be seated in one church and one church only? Are we to minister only to those within immediate arms reach? For me, I say no. I have not blown in and out of churches willy nilly. One of my favorite churches, when in my early twenties, split. Many times we have moved. Geography has played a role. I have children that I would like to raise in church, but not just any church. I want to be seated where the Lord says to sit, and if the Lord says to go, then I want to be obedient to that as well.
Here are a few descriptions about tumbleweeds listed by another blogger. All his words are in italics and quotation marks. I will post a link to his blog at the end.
-"When growing, a tumbleweed is firmly planted in the soil. But at the end of its growth season, it breaks loose, never to be planted again." His point with this one is that, "tumbleweed believers have not allowed their ROOTS to sink deep into the doctrines of truth."
In the life a of a tumbleweed it has reached the end of its growth season when it breaks loose. Often in churches, when a believer has reached a certain spiritual maturity the Lord often calls him or her out from whence they were grown. They are broken off to be sent to a new destination.
-"Tumbleweed believers spread their unwanted seeds at RANDOM. One of the reasons farmers hate tumbleweeds is because each tumbleweed has about 250,000 seeds. Imagine that. As a tumbleweed blows across the land, it scatters a quarter of a million seeds that potentially become tumbleweeds. And their seeds can grow in a wide range of temperatures. So all year long, farmers have to put up with this nuisance."
He likens the farmer to the church. I liken the farmer to the world. We, as tumbleweeds, are spreading seeds of the gospel of Christ. The world hates us and sees these seeds as a nuisance. They seem random, except when you liken the wind to the Holy Spirit being what determines the course of the tumbleweed and its seeds.
-"Tumbleweed believers blown by the wind are helpless to decide their own ROUTE. Tumbleweed believers can’t decide their own route. They’re in and out. This way, then that way."
The blogger references tumbleweed believers as those that are double-minded, tossed to and fro on the waves of an ocean.
Again, I liken the wind to the Holy Spirit. When we are completely at rest in the will of God, does it matter to where we are blown?
-"Tumbleweed believers begin to ROAM when confronted by a little pressure. Over the years I have seen people who refuse to deal with their sin. In fact, a lot of pastors are afraid to talk about sin from their pulpits. Why? Because people will pack up their marbles and leave. So pastors won’t talk about sin. My friend, pastors need to speak about backsliding and the devastating consequences of sin. Because these things will destroy you. But those who don’t want to hear the truth will get offended. And off they go like a tumbleweed."
I wholeheartedly agree with the author when he says pastors need to not be afraid to speak the truth. I do not agree that refusal to deal with your sin makes you a tumbleweed. He already stated that tumbleweeds reach the end of their growth season before they break away and become tumbleweeds. A believer unwilling to deal with his sin is not mature or nearly finished growing. Hence, he cannot be a tumbleweed, but rather, a child still requiring milk rather than the meat of God's word.
It has been a blessing to me to have fellowshipped in different churches throughout the years. I have been to Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian, Non-denominational, Pentecostal, Assemblies of God and Apostolic churches. The ones I have enjoyed the most are the ones where the Spirit of God is allowed to be present. That is not ruled by a denomination but by a willingness of the congregation to let the Lord lead and to follow His lead. Those are the moments when souls get saved, lives get changed, bodies get healed and brokenness is restored. Ahh, the sweet Presence of the Lord.
So, am I a spiritual tumbleweed? Yes, yes I am. I have never wanted to stay in one location forever simply because there were so many places the Lord could take me. If I root myself in one spot, then how would I be able to quickly be obedient to the Lord's call? I am not saying that I can never be a pemanent part of a church body, but really that is not what tops my list. I am happy to become a member when the Lord tells me I must. I am not opposed to growing roots, but again, unless the Lord plants me then it would only be in an effort to appease man. I admire those whom the Lord has called to one place and one place only. That works for them because they were created that way.
So, like the little monkey, I will be content to follow the advice of my Father. I will be content to be who He created me to be.
The world may hate me
for the seeds I sow
and the church
may not understand
the wind with which I blow
Nevertheless, I must go
Where my Father sends me.
To the North, South,
East and West,
I trust my Lord
that He knows best.
In His Presence
I find rest
Forever,
His tumbleweed.
Link to blog mentioned: Tumbleweed Believers by Steve Hill
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Do You Belong to the First Church of the Zax?
Do you remember the Dr. Seuss story , 'The Zax'? This is how it reads:
(pictures from: Dr. Seuss Wiki)
(story from: Sanctuary and Serenity)
The Zax – Dr. Seuss
The day before today,
One day, making tracks
In the prairie of Prax,
Came a North-Going Zax
And a South-Going Zax.
And it happened that both of them came to a place
Where they bumped. There they stood.
Foot to foot. Face to face.
“Look here, now!” the North-Going Zax said, “I say!
You are blocking my path. You are right in my way.
I’m a North-Going Zax and I always go north.
Get out of my way, now, and let me go forth!”
“Who’s in whose way?” snapped the South-Going Zax.
“I always go south, making south-going tracks.
So you’re in MY way! And I ask you to move
And let me go south in my south-going groove.”
Then the North-Going Zax puffed his chest up with pride.
“I never,” he said, “take a step to one side.
And I’ll prove to you that I won’t change my ways
If I have to keep standing here fifty-nine days!”
“And I’ll prove to YOU,” yelled the South-Going Zax,
“That I can stand here in the prairie of Prax
For fifty-nine years! For I live by a rule
That I learned as a boy back in South-Going School.
Never budge! That’s my rule. Never budge in the least!
Not an inch to the west! Not an inch to the east!
I’ll stay here, not budging! I can and I will
If it makes you and me and the whole world stand still!”
Well…
Of course the world didn’t stand still. The world grew.
In a couple of years, the new highway came through
And they built it right over those two stubborn Zax
And left them there, standing un-budged in their tracks.
~~~~~~~
As I thought about this childhood story, I could not help but relate it to the church and Christians today. Sometimes this is how we approach God, unwilling to budge, determined to stay the course that WE planned, even if the whole world has to stand still. Of course, the world keeps on spinning, progress keeps on progressing and we keep on standing in one place, unwilling to move. As for God? Well, He is God and His direction, even though it may be the opposite of ours, is always worth the side-step or the complete one-eighty.
Oftentimes, this is how Christians approach each other. Eventually, along their spiritual journey they BUMP into another going the opposite direction, both unwavering and unwilling to side-step so that the journey may continue.
There we stand,
face-to-face,
nose-to-nose,
scowl upon scowl,
toes upon toes,
each wishing the other to move
or to even disappear,
neither giving an inch,
perhaps out of fear?
Ahh, but when we stop and look around,
and see that the world passed us by,
perhaps it is then,
we can let out a sigh,
and look to the East,
and look to the West,
discovering that yielding is
perhaps for the best.
With a humble heart
and contrite state of mind,
We take a deep breath
as we step out of our line.
With surprise we both notice,
that the earth did not end,
and even greater than that,
we made a new friend.
Though we may set our mind on one direction, never let us falter to follow after God's direction. When we choose God's way, we will never cease to be amazed and His provision is always more than enough.
Genesis 13:14-17 reads:
And the Lord said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him: “Lift your eyes now and look from the place where you are—northward, southward, eastward, and westward; for all the land which you see I give to you and your descendants forever. And I will make your descendants as the dust of the earth; so that if a man could number the dust of the earth, then your descendants also could be numbered. Arise, walk in the land through its length and its width, for I give it to you.”
Abandon the life of a Zax and put on the life of Christ. Follow God so that your territory may be enlarged. Many blessings to you all.
(pictures from: Dr. Seuss Wiki)
(story from: Sanctuary and Serenity)
The Zax – Dr. Seuss
The day before today,
One day, making tracks
In the prairie of Prax,
Came a North-Going Zax
And a South-Going Zax.
And it happened that both of them came to a place
Where they bumped. There they stood.
Foot to foot. Face to face.
“Look here, now!” the North-Going Zax said, “I say!
You are blocking my path. You are right in my way.
I’m a North-Going Zax and I always go north.
Get out of my way, now, and let me go forth!”
“Who’s in whose way?” snapped the South-Going Zax.
“I always go south, making south-going tracks.
So you’re in MY way! And I ask you to move
And let me go south in my south-going groove.”
Then the North-Going Zax puffed his chest up with pride.
“I never,” he said, “take a step to one side.
And I’ll prove to you that I won’t change my ways
If I have to keep standing here fifty-nine days!”
“And I’ll prove to YOU,” yelled the South-Going Zax,
“That I can stand here in the prairie of Prax
For fifty-nine years! For I live by a rule
That I learned as a boy back in South-Going School.
Never budge! That’s my rule. Never budge in the least!
Not an inch to the west! Not an inch to the east!
I’ll stay here, not budging! I can and I will
If it makes you and me and the whole world stand still!”
Well…
Of course the world didn’t stand still. The world grew.
In a couple of years, the new highway came through
And they built it right over those two stubborn Zax
And left them there, standing un-budged in their tracks.
~~~~~~~
As I thought about this childhood story, I could not help but relate it to the church and Christians today. Sometimes this is how we approach God, unwilling to budge, determined to stay the course that WE planned, even if the whole world has to stand still. Of course, the world keeps on spinning, progress keeps on progressing and we keep on standing in one place, unwilling to move. As for God? Well, He is God and His direction, even though it may be the opposite of ours, is always worth the side-step or the complete one-eighty.
Oftentimes, this is how Christians approach each other. Eventually, along their spiritual journey they BUMP into another going the opposite direction, both unwavering and unwilling to side-step so that the journey may continue.
There we stand,
face-to-face,
nose-to-nose,
scowl upon scowl,
toes upon toes,
each wishing the other to move
or to even disappear,
neither giving an inch,
perhaps out of fear?
Ahh, but when we stop and look around,
and see that the world passed us by,
perhaps it is then,
we can let out a sigh,
and look to the East,
and look to the West,
discovering that yielding is
perhaps for the best.
With a humble heart
and contrite state of mind,
We take a deep breath
as we step out of our line.
With surprise we both notice,
that the earth did not end,
and even greater than that,
we made a new friend.
Though we may set our mind on one direction, never let us falter to follow after God's direction. When we choose God's way, we will never cease to be amazed and His provision is always more than enough.
Genesis 13:14-17 reads:
And the Lord said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him: “Lift your eyes now and look from the place where you are—northward, southward, eastward, and westward; for all the land which you see I give to you and your descendants forever. And I will make your descendants as the dust of the earth; so that if a man could number the dust of the earth, then your descendants also could be numbered. Arise, walk in the land through its length and its width, for I give it to you.”
Abandon the life of a Zax and put on the life of Christ. Follow God so that your territory may be enlarged. Many blessings to you all.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Spiritual Odor- How Well Do You Smell?
I love the way Jesus used stories to illustrate His points and get His message across. I also love the imagery Paul used in 2 Corinthians when he spoke about our spiritual scent. He wrote:
2 Corinthians 2:14-17
14 Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. 15 For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. 16 To the one we are the aroma of death leading to death, and to the other the aroma of life leading to life. And who is sufficient for these things? 17 For we are not, as so many, peddling the word of God; but as of sincerity, but as from God, we speak in the sight of God in Christ.
God diffuses the fragrance of his knowledge in every place (v. 14)
We are to God the fragrance of Christ (v.15)
To the one we are the aroma of death leading to death, and to the other the aroma of life leading to life. (v.16)
I love this passage. I love knowing that my life, my relationship to God through Jesus Christ, has a spiritual odor. That is awesome! If we are true to the word of God, serving Him with sincerity of heart, with love and humility then we are guaranteed to smell. To some we will smell like DEATH. Our lives, though pointing to the Cross, will repel some because of their refusal to acknowledge God and His Son. Their rebellion and pride prohibit them from truly sensing the sweet smell of salvation that is made available to them through faith in Jesus. Their intellect, though a gift from God, operates often as a curse as they demand that faith in the Creator and His Son become logical, factually undisputed, proven with what man can see and understand with human reasoning. They refuse to yield, their intellect becoming a false god that they choose to serve.
Others smell death because of the bitterness in their hearts that they refuse to relinquish. Like a badge of honor, they wear their pain, their injustice, their grief and their offences. They live in fear and are so vigilant to not become a victim once more that they cannot or will not trust Jesus. Their healing and restoration seem too far out of reach. Though they may occasionally smell a hint of life giving aroma, they cling to their pain and their fear.
Then, there are those that our lives touch and our spiritual odor becomes a sweet smelling fragrance. Like moths to a flame, they are drawn to the light of Christ that is in us. Unlike moths, as they draw closer to His light they are transformed. When they reach out and begin to say yes to Jesus a trade begins. He gives them beauty for their ashes, healing for their pain, forgiveness for their sins, liberty and freedom for their bondage. He gives them courage and love...so much love. He clothes them in righteousness and becomes their Mediator with the Father. Though our salvation was bought with His blood and sacrifice, we are made sons and daughters to God the Father. We become joint heirs to the kingdom.
Romans 8:14-17 reads:
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.
How beautiful that we become adopted into the Kingdom. How sad that some only smell death and reject all that the Father offers through Jesus.
So, the question is, "Do you smell?". Does your walk with Christ have any odor at all? If not, why not? Even in the natural realm we have a smell. It is not always pleasing and that is where we become thankful for deodorant. However, the bible does not speak of spiritual deodorant. It stands to reason that since we do not have spiritual deodorant, then we cannot always have a pleasant odor. If it seems we do, then are we somehow dishonoring God? Are we denying Christ in our lives if everyone is well-pleased with our scent?
Finally, if we are not leading some to death and others to life with our aroma, then what place has Jesus taken in our lives? If we confess Him with our lips, yet deny Him by our lives, then that may be the only way that we are without a scent. Choose Jesus. Choose to live and walk in the fullness of His power and grace. Do not deny Him. Let His light shine bright through you. Do not be concerned with how you smell. Be concerned if you don't. Do not be a people pleaser, for your good aroma may become a false scent that may lead more to hell and destruction than if you walked in obedience to the Lord without compromise.
2 Corinthians 2:14-17
14 Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. 15 For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. 16 To the one we are the aroma of death leading to death, and to the other the aroma of life leading to life. And who is sufficient for these things? 17 For we are not, as so many, peddling the word of God; but as of sincerity, but as from God, we speak in the sight of God in Christ.
God diffuses the fragrance of his knowledge in every place (v. 14)
We are to God the fragrance of Christ (v.15)
To the one we are the aroma of death leading to death, and to the other the aroma of life leading to life. (v.16)
I love this passage. I love knowing that my life, my relationship to God through Jesus Christ, has a spiritual odor. That is awesome! If we are true to the word of God, serving Him with sincerity of heart, with love and humility then we are guaranteed to smell. To some we will smell like DEATH. Our lives, though pointing to the Cross, will repel some because of their refusal to acknowledge God and His Son. Their rebellion and pride prohibit them from truly sensing the sweet smell of salvation that is made available to them through faith in Jesus. Their intellect, though a gift from God, operates often as a curse as they demand that faith in the Creator and His Son become logical, factually undisputed, proven with what man can see and understand with human reasoning. They refuse to yield, their intellect becoming a false god that they choose to serve.
Others smell death because of the bitterness in their hearts that they refuse to relinquish. Like a badge of honor, they wear their pain, their injustice, their grief and their offences. They live in fear and are so vigilant to not become a victim once more that they cannot or will not trust Jesus. Their healing and restoration seem too far out of reach. Though they may occasionally smell a hint of life giving aroma, they cling to their pain and their fear.
Then, there are those that our lives touch and our spiritual odor becomes a sweet smelling fragrance. Like moths to a flame, they are drawn to the light of Christ that is in us. Unlike moths, as they draw closer to His light they are transformed. When they reach out and begin to say yes to Jesus a trade begins. He gives them beauty for their ashes, healing for their pain, forgiveness for their sins, liberty and freedom for their bondage. He gives them courage and love...so much love. He clothes them in righteousness and becomes their Mediator with the Father. Though our salvation was bought with His blood and sacrifice, we are made sons and daughters to God the Father. We become joint heirs to the kingdom.
Romans 8:14-17 reads:
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.
How beautiful that we become adopted into the Kingdom. How sad that some only smell death and reject all that the Father offers through Jesus.
So, the question is, "Do you smell?". Does your walk with Christ have any odor at all? If not, why not? Even in the natural realm we have a smell. It is not always pleasing and that is where we become thankful for deodorant. However, the bible does not speak of spiritual deodorant. It stands to reason that since we do not have spiritual deodorant, then we cannot always have a pleasant odor. If it seems we do, then are we somehow dishonoring God? Are we denying Christ in our lives if everyone is well-pleased with our scent?
Finally, if we are not leading some to death and others to life with our aroma, then what place has Jesus taken in our lives? If we confess Him with our lips, yet deny Him by our lives, then that may be the only way that we are without a scent. Choose Jesus. Choose to live and walk in the fullness of His power and grace. Do not deny Him. Let His light shine bright through you. Do not be concerned with how you smell. Be concerned if you don't. Do not be a people pleaser, for your good aroma may become a false scent that may lead more to hell and destruction than if you walked in obedience to the Lord without compromise.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Out from the Shadows...Called to Action!
I have renamed the blog. It was formerly, 'Hidden in the Shadows'. That name was given four years ago when I created the blog. I never posted anything until April of this year. I used to struggle with feeling invisible within the churches I attended. That is where the blog got it's name from. I no longer have that struggle and feel the blog, even it's name, should be current and relevant.
No longer do I feel hidden. I feel called out to action. That is why I can finally be honest and share my thoughts and observations and whatever else comes along. At the end of 2011 I felt the Lord impressed upon my spirit that 2012 would be a year of Grace. It was. He showed me much grace and taught me to really start to pay attention to my journey, rather than just passively live each day. Likewise, in 2013 I knew that was the year of Discipline. I lacked personal discipline and have for most of my life. At the end of 2013 I wondered what, if any, word the Lord would give for this new year. He did not disappoint. The word He gave me was ACTION!
I was so excited! I have had so many hopes and desires that were in my mind but not being lived out. I really took that word and began to run with it. Even if the action was pursuing the new Godly films that came out this year, I did it. I booked a ticket to an Abolition Summit that is scheduled in August. It is already paid for. My husband and I attended Acquire the Fire this year. I have been several times but it had been at least ten years since my last event. This was my husband's first event. We sponsored a child through Compassion International. All these things are ACTION! I love it!
We have been attending our current church for about six months. I have wanted to leave many times, but we love the people we have come to know. Also, the Lord seems to be requiring me to stay there for now. This is ACTION. I trust the Lord. I have no doubt I am being taught many things by obeying Him. I have begun writing about what I see and how I feel. Normally, I would write it in a personal journal and/or discuss it with a couple of close friends. However, the Lord has prompted me to share it publicly, despite the fact that not everyone can or will agree with every word written. That is ACTION.
I feel, in a small way, like a revolutionary. That is no credit to me. I believe that when we truly obey what the Lord would have us to do, we are going to be perceived many different ways. I am not responsible for how someone responds to my obedience. I am only to be obedient in love and with humility. I truly desire that my life be Salt and Light to those with whom it comes in contact with. Much love to you all.
No longer do I feel hidden. I feel called out to action. That is why I can finally be honest and share my thoughts and observations and whatever else comes along. At the end of 2011 I felt the Lord impressed upon my spirit that 2012 would be a year of Grace. It was. He showed me much grace and taught me to really start to pay attention to my journey, rather than just passively live each day. Likewise, in 2013 I knew that was the year of Discipline. I lacked personal discipline and have for most of my life. At the end of 2013 I wondered what, if any, word the Lord would give for this new year. He did not disappoint. The word He gave me was ACTION!
I was so excited! I have had so many hopes and desires that were in my mind but not being lived out. I really took that word and began to run with it. Even if the action was pursuing the new Godly films that came out this year, I did it. I booked a ticket to an Abolition Summit that is scheduled in August. It is already paid for. My husband and I attended Acquire the Fire this year. I have been several times but it had been at least ten years since my last event. This was my husband's first event. We sponsored a child through Compassion International. All these things are ACTION! I love it!
We have been attending our current church for about six months. I have wanted to leave many times, but we love the people we have come to know. Also, the Lord seems to be requiring me to stay there for now. This is ACTION. I trust the Lord. I have no doubt I am being taught many things by obeying Him. I have begun writing about what I see and how I feel. Normally, I would write it in a personal journal and/or discuss it with a couple of close friends. However, the Lord has prompted me to share it publicly, despite the fact that not everyone can or will agree with every word written. That is ACTION.
I feel, in a small way, like a revolutionary. That is no credit to me. I believe that when we truly obey what the Lord would have us to do, we are going to be perceived many different ways. I am not responsible for how someone responds to my obedience. I am only to be obedient in love and with humility. I truly desire that my life be Salt and Light to those with whom it comes in contact with. Much love to you all.
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