It's a Choice...Not a Condition

The first attack I had was in 2009 while we still lived in Australia. We had just eaten dinner and shortly after my back began to hurt. I didn't think much about it but the pain worsened as time passed. Soon it was almost unbearable. Since it was late, almost midnight, my husband stayed home with the kids and I drove myself to the hospital. Once there they hooked me up to a heart monitor and took my vitals. I got sick at one point and had to vomit. The doctor could not determine what had caused the pain, so he sent me home with two morphine tablets. 

Eventually, the pain subsided and life went on. Over the next few years I would have more attacks and later come to find out that I had gallstones. In 2011 I had several gallbladder attacks. These would last about twelve hours or more. I was severely nauseated and the slightest movement would cause me to wretch. The pain was awful and debilitating. All I could do was sit on the couch and ride it out with a bucket in my hands or nearby. I did go to the hospital once more and they performed an ultrasound. That test confirmed the presence of gallstones and sludge. 

I was told that I would eventually have to have surgery to have my gallbladder removed. I used to eat a lot of antacids and was mindful of the types of foods I ate so as not to trigger another attack. That only helped a bit. I still had attacks. In January 2012 I had an episode of what was later called gallbladder colic. It lasted about six days. The pain was more dull but never really left. I called a friend one night to ask for prayer. To my surprise she showed up a bit later at our home. It was around 9 p.m. She came over to pray with me. That time of prayer was awesome. As our prayer moved from my need to another need I heard the Holy Spirit say to me, "You are healed." 

I knew the Lord had spoken to me and I quietly received His words. I didn't share His words for quite some time. I kept them to myself for a couple of reasons. First, I believe in the power of words. I believe that we can tear down or build up another by what we say. I did not want to share this special message and have others negate God's word in my life. 

Secondly, I wanted time to pass. I wanted to see this miracle take root and stay in my life. I treasured God's words to me. It was like a holy secret that we shared. 

It has been two and a half years since that night. I have not had another attack since then. Prior to that it seemed I was heading for an eventual surgery, possibly even an emergency surgery. 

As I was driving home this morning  I was thinking about some books I have been given. One is called 23 Minutes in Hell. It is a true life account of how a man was taken to hell and what he saw while there. There are other books about similar types of visions or journeys that people have said they experienced, often with Jesus as their guide. 

That got me thinking about my own story. We are often so quick to discredit someone because of something that seems too unbelievable, lacks logic or simply flies in the face of what we believe. A few of the books I know about are:

1. Heaven is For Real

2. A Divine Revelation of Hell

3. 23 Minutes in Hell

4. Close Encounters of the God Kind

5. The Valentine Prophecies

I know there are countless others out there where a person was either taken to heaven or hell. I have not read all the books listed above but am most familiar with these titles. Why is it so hard to fathom that the God who created the universe and everything in it is also able to take select persons on a divine journey? While we can expect opposition from a disbelieving population of the world, why do we, as Christian brothers and sisters, try so desperately to tear one another apart? 

I am not saying that every account is genuine, but do we start out from the viewpoint that what they are saying happened might be true? Or are we reading only to find ways to validate our point that everything is false? Yes, we must 'test the spirits' as the word instructs. I find the dynamics of interpersonal relationships between professing Christians to be interesting. How quickly we can devour one another with our high and lofty opinions without the effort of truly establishing a relationship with the other person. 

Of course, we can also be very supportive and sincere. I am not trying to throw the baby out with the bathwater. My point is this: What if God took you on an incredible journey, whether to heaven or hell, or to some remote part of the world? What if He showed you specific things so that you may share His message with this world and His people? How humbling and fantastic would it be to be a part of that? How troubling would it be to face the rejection and ridicule, not from the world. That would be expected. How about when your church family rejects and ridicules your story, your message? 

This does not happen only when books are written or divine journeys are made. We devour one another for more simple things. The bible tells us in Matthew 5:3, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." It does not say, "Blessed are the poor in attitude", yet, that is what we often become. 

We become petty, proud, resentful, superior, contentious, judgmental, self-pitying, suspicious, hateful and accusatory. If we are not careful our motives become deceitful, even deceiving ourselves. We offer Hallelujahs and Praise the Lord, yet go home and slander the very thing we praised God for in another. 

We should not be ashamed nor afraid to share our stories with one another. So, what can we do? The only person we really have control over is ourselves. No matter how 'good' we try to be to others we will not be able to please everyone. Once again, it comes down to motive of our hearts. If we are real and sincere before God, repentant and obedient, then we must trust Him to see us through the rough waters of rejection, misunderstandings and every other tough thing that may come our way. We must make a decision to truly TRUST GOD. Once we get settled in Him the rough waters won't feel so rough. 

We also need to check our motives and our attitudes. If we are gossiping about others, judging, tearing down instead of building up, then maybe we need to evaluate why. Our attitude, how we respond to another who upsets us or simply does something we disagree with, is a CHOICE...NOT A CONDITION. 

In other words, someone may say or do something to you that causes you to feel hurt or angry. What you do with that hurt or anger is your CHOICE. It is NOT a CONDITION you are afflicted with. You could choose to reconcile, forgive, ask for greater understanding of the situation or pray for that person. You have options. 

You may think you have a 'right' to feel and act the way you do in response. Maybe you have a right when simply living by the rules of this world. However, when living by the rules of God's word He makes it really simple.

1. Love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength.

2. Love your neighbor as you love yourself.

3. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive  him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

4. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

5. Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”  Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

Give up your right to yourself. Give in to the love of God. Let His love fill you so that you have no room for any poor attitudes. Make a choice everyday to honor God with your attitude and actions. Take time to know one another, to understand each other. When in doubt about another person’s story, journey or message, seek God. Ask Him to help you discern truth from error. In all your ways, acknowledge Him.

Many blessings to you all.