Confessions of a Spirit-Filled, Jesus Loving Momma

 "I'm not sure I want to belong to another church."

This was a statement made a few weeks ago to a pastor as we exchanged history notes in a get-to-know-you moment. For the most part, our kids love the church and I know they need a church. I like taking them. I have enjoyed the people I have met and even, on occasion, worked alongside.

The people there are open, friendly, energetic and on fire for Jesus. I remember being like that. I still love Jesus. He is my best friend and I trust Him fully. My not wanting to connect with another church has nothing to do with Him. It doesn't have to do with church hurt or anything like that. So, what is it?

For a while now, when I would ponder that question to myself, the best answer I could come up with is, "I'm tired." It is a tired that can hardly be explained. It is more than physical, mental or emotional. It is a deep tired and, at times, an ache.

As I sit here to write this, to share a part of myself, I am listening to K-Love radio. The songs are on point. I know God has  got this. He's had it all along- for as long as I can remember. I just can't and don't have the strength it takes to get to know someone else.

My history from these past few years is my current present and will impact my future. My family and the very few friends that have walked the road with me- I am so thankful for them. I don't want to exchange true confessions with another in an attempt to build a friendship. You- they- are most likely very amazing. Maybe one day I will be able to know that. 

I am feeding my faith. I love prayer. I have no doubt that Jesus will push me to do or be more than what I have shared here. In His time. I will do what He says. I will go where He sends me. I am thankful that right now I can just be. 

I have to admit that it is strange to "just be". To just be the mom of a kid in youth or children's church. To just be a parent who drives mostly just her kids to church. To just be a person in the pew (when I do show up to stay). It is bittersweet at times. I loved serving and all the energy that those tasks brought and required. 

See, I don't want to cry in front of you. I don't want to explain my tears. I don't want to explain the way our home has been blended by the Lord. I don't want to explain anything and, if I get to know you, I will want to (even feel compelled to) explain it to you. 

The Lord will let us know when the time is right. Until then, I will just be...

Midnight Musings

 12:52 a.m.

What is on my mind? Jesus. 

I have not posted a blog in almost 4 years. I love to write. I love to communicate. I love to share my Jesus- yet I stopped doing all those things. Sometimes I wish I could share my heart, my thoughts, my struggles even...yet, I resist. Perhaps that is what tonight- this morning is. Perhaps I am trying to get back to where I left off. 

To be fair, the following years, 2018 and 2019, were pretty tough. We were thrust into a whole new world. Our family went through a metamorphosis. Plot twists abounded during that time. As 2020 came on the scene, it seemed like we might be okay. We would adjust to a less twisty path- then COVID came through.

The world shut down. As that year passed on, we settled into a space that gained a few friends. Virtual schooling was both a blessing and a curse. We were all ready for the school year to end. The kids are fairly settled in a local church. they have made friends. I have made acquaintances.

Some days I feel like a shell of who I used to be. I miss my faith lived out loud. I miss the energy of serving and the accountability that certain past roles held. Even with all that, I know what I don't want right now. I don't want to get to know people. I don't want to explain my journey or our family. I do want to support our kids and their faith. I do want to help as needed along the way. 

So, tonight as I ponder the current struggle, I have paused to ponder One even greater. His name is Jesus. I want to learn how to once again lean back into His arms and just trust Him to sort it out. He has never failed. One thing I do have is complete and total trust in Him. I was allowing a bit of fear (mainly in the future) to rule, but praise the Lord, that is cast down. 

The worse case scenario of any event is truly nothing when our eyes are kept on Jesus. I pray I have the grace and wisdom to shrug my shoulders, look to Him and know that no matter what it could be, "This too shall pass". Nothing can separate me from the love of God. The devil and the world may have their version of plot twists, but nothing compares to how God can turn the story. 

Much love to you all. 

Our Kids...Our Church

This was going to be a reply to one person but I have written it for the purpose that others may read it as well. It is regarding our kids at church and the challenges they do and will present.

First, I come from the same (slightly younger or older) generation that most at church come from. I feel like I grew up seeming to understand respect very early on. I understand the angst of the disrespect of this current generation as a whole, but every generation has had its pocket of people that have been disrespectful and pushed the boundaries of what was right or acceptable. My advice on this current generation is to not take their actions or disrespect personally. Most of the time they are equal opportunity providers of all that stuff.

I try to see the tough kids (tough to love, tough to connect with, etc) as a challenge that I am determined to win. They provide me an opportunity to enhance my skills as a parent, as an adult, as a Christian and as a representative of the love of the Father given through Jesus and His Holy Spirit. Got a kid who is tough to love? Great! Now we have a reason to get real when we pray. We have a reason to engage that kid in conversations that might reveal their heart, their struggle or their reason for their walls. We also have an opportunity to be genuine in showing the love of Christ to them. We can't do that solely with words, nor can we portray that love through a set of rules that lack any attempt on our parts to connect with them.

In addition to all that, we have the opportunity to check ourselves. How is our heart and our mind? Are we running low on the love of God for all?  Are we acting in obedience to the Father when these challenges come up or are we reacting?

Kids will know who is real, who is trying to work them from some angle and they will respond accordingly. So, let's ask ourselves, "Why are we trying or wanting to connect with these kids?" Is it because we have a sense of duty and therefore we must? Do we see these kids through the eyes of the Father and the sacrifice of His Son? How much grace and mercy is too much to give them?

We have to love them through the excess of God's love for us. We will get annoyed, bitter, angry, frustrated and so on if we are only "trying to love them from our own supply".

We, the Church, are not a gift that has been given to the kids. On the contrary, these kids are a gift we have been given. When we get invited into their world, to hear their stories and help them walk through their hard days...that is an honor. When a kid lets his or her guard down and decides that they are going to accept our love and also even love us in return....Wow.

If we want respect then we have to show love...radical love that does not have a Use By date and is not based on performance.

Now, regarding discipline...yes, the kids need to be accountable for their actions. The accountability is not my concern. It is the application of it...the spirit that it is administered in. Let's take the phone incident for example. My biggest concern is the aftermath. Is this kid going to forever be watched like a hawk, whispered about as he passes by and made to feel ostracized because of his offense?

Is the church now on lockdown? Will we become preoccupied with policing the kids versus other things we could be (or were) doing? How much of a distraction will the enemy get to make because of all this?

Last Wednesday in our youth class we talked about the equation of God. The scripture tells us many things, two of which are: love never fails and God is love. therefore if those two are true then it is correct to believe that God never fails. We talked about going into 2018 with the #LoveNeverFails challenge.

We are still defining what that will look like. We are going to challenge the word of God in regards to 1 Corinthians 13:8 and also what Colossians has to say in chapter 3:12-14
"Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection."

"Above all these things"... 
tender mercies
kindness
humility
meekness
longsuffering
bearing with one another
forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do
"put on love"

We have a great opportunity to really get on our faces before God about our kids and our entire church. We don't have to respond like the world or even like other churches. We do need to be obedient to the Lord. I honestly believe we are getting ready to be used by the Lord mightily because we are willing to seek Him and know Him and do His will.

The world is currently going out of its way to be offended by everything nowadays. Let's not be so quick to be offended when these challenges come. Let's welcome the opportunity for growth and love .

I love you all.

P.O.P.C.O.R.N.- Traveling Prayer Ministry

Prayer. It is possibly the least used weapon in our arsenal of spiritual weapons given to us. 

The bible has much to say about prayer. We are given instructions on how to pray, in what manner we ought to pray, what we have to let go of in order to pray effectively and the importance of possessing unwavering faith when we pray.

Almost daily we see reports in the news or hear of friends battling health issues or recovering from a tragic event.

“Pray for me.”
“Pray for my family.”
“Pray for our city.”
“Pray for our country.”
“Pray for the world.”

We see the posts on social media. We see the need played out before our eyes daily. Do we really pray? If so, do we pray effectively?

Or does prayer get in the way of our day-to-day activities? Is it a nuisance, so many people needing prayer? Does prayer even work? Who has time to pray anymore?

This is what P.O.P.C.O.R.N. is about. It is about being very purposeful, even strategic in making a choice to gather with others to pray.

These meetings will be like popcorn, hence the name.

In order for popcorn to pop it has to be heated to a temperature that will cause a change on the inside. The change on the inside of the kernel is so great that enough pressure builds up, causing the kernel to “POP!” and become a new creation.

We, like popcorn, need to be heated up through prayer. We need to be so heated that we also burst forth as a new creation.

The great thing about popcorn is that we never cook just one kernel at a time. We put a bunch of kernels into the same pot to be heated together in oil. The whole pot gets shaken throughout the heating process, so as to decrease the possibility of the kernels getting scorched. The oil allows for greater heat temperatures than if you didn’t use any at all.

The oil in popcorn can be likened to the Holy Spirit. When He is in the midst of our prayers, the results can be heightened and things can certainly heat up faster with Him rather than trying to pray without Him. 

Popcorn pops in random fashion. Likewise, we don’t know which prayer may get answered first but we can be assured that if we allow ourselves to gather together, be heated and coated in the oil of the Holy Spirit, things are going to change. What seems like random order becomes divine order.

We will be transformed. Our cities and towns will be transformed. There isn't a limit to the lengths, heights and depths that prayer can go and transform our world around us...but that change starts with us.

What are we willing to dp?How desperate and determined are we to pursue the change our lives, and the lives around us, need?

Are we willing to meet with others at random times and in various places to gather together and pray? Can we cross denominational barriers in a true spirit of unity and coming together in "one accord"? Are we willing to set aside our biases, our grudges, our unforgiveness, our justifications, our rationalizations? Are we willing?

What if the change we are seeking starts with us? Are we prepared to go into the highways and the byways to get to know the issues that face our local areas? We don't have to agree on everything, but we can agree on Jesus. We can agree to "meet at the cross" and humble ourselves before Him and each other. We can agree that true repentance which leads to revival may very well start in our own hearts before it starts anywhere else.

I am so thankful to my Lord for His faithfulness. I am thankful for His love and for His grace. I am thankful for you.

Our world is hurting and we have a great chance to show love as we gather together to pray and support each other. Let's go and be like popcorn. Let's get coated in oil and heated up so that a true transformation may take place and our lives become even more savory to this world around us.

Loving Others is Like a Rubik's Cube

Loving others is sometimes like trying to fix a Rubik's cube. It is messy and nothing seems to line up or make sense when we look at it. We turn it in all directions and the colors still don't match. If you keep trying, after a while it can feel frustrating. You may want to give up and say, "Forget it."

Thus, the cube (person) is left, often tossed carelessly to the side, nevermore to be attempted.

Oh, you may consider taking off the stickers and putting the colors in order that way. The trouble with that is that when you start peeling stickers they lose their adhesion and don't want to stay in place.

Sometimes, we try to love others with the wrong motives or maybe even because we feel we "have to". When we do that, then it probably won't last. Much like peeling stickers, the adhesion quality of that type of love is weakened and eventually it (the love) just won't stick any longer.

Now, there are some in the world that can take a Rubik's cube and, in a matter of seconds, have it all put back in order. With a few strategic twists and turns they have all the colors lined up again. They somehow have the ability to see patterns in the brokenness of the colors on the cube when it is all mixed up. They are hailed as geniuses for something that comes very naturally to them.

We should endeavor to love like a Rubik's cube genius. We should strive to see the patterns in the brokenness of the colors and set our hearts to putting those colors in order.

We should not be satisfied with tossing others to the side when the challenge seems too great, nor should we seek to peel stickers in an effort to shorten the process. It is not the same as truly completing the puzzle of the cube.

Loving others should actually be easier than trying to fix a Rubik's cube. It should come to us as naturally as fixing a Rubik's cube comes to a seemingly rare genius.

Our supply of love is unending when we remember that it comes from the Lord. The ability to see the patterns in the brokenness also comes from the Lord. When we submit ourselves to His love and His sight, then the puzzle of loving others is not so much a mystery. We will find that love comes naturally when we get it from the Source.

God, the original Rubik's cube genius, able to see all the patterns in our broken lives, is eager to share His secrets with each of us. May we be eager to know such great mysteries as He is willing to impart. 

Reflecting on My Adventure with Church

It has been six weeks since my latest adventure with the Lord began. It wasn't just my adventure. It was one also shared with my church family. I am certain many would disagree with the use of the word adventure in this circumstance, but it is and can be what you make of it.

It has caused me to run through a full range of emotions that few would know about. This adventure has brought about massive changes for some, inflicted pain and hurt on others and left some feeling very dejected and rejected. The most often used form of communication during this time has been silence. Whether the silence is due to indifference or discomfort in knowing how to talk to someone I am not sure. Sometimes, the lack of communication is so profound that I credit God with it and trust He must be needing to do His best work in each of us through that silence. It is hard to fathom that so many have so little to say on such important things as related to this adventure.

I have thought about sharing my heart for a while but have been waiting until I felt released to do so. I did not want to share at the height of any one emotion. So much time has passed, in one way, it seems like years have gone by. One could almost say, "Why be concerned about it now? The past is in the past." However, that is not true.

I understand the need for people to want to return to "business as usual", but it is not and will not be the same as so many weeks ago. Believe it or not, these thoughts are not based on the absence of one man. My and my family's absence is not based on that singular event. Ours is so much more complex that that.

This adventure has led me from being a cheerleader for supernatural reconciliation to seeing a present darkness that is woven into the fabric of the assembly, to watching friends and acquaintances sink into content denial of such things. I have been second-guessed, given credit for creating controversy, and while there may be more, that is the little that I am aware of.

The silence is like the darkness. It breeds fear and contempt. It runs full throttle with assumptions, never fact checking or heart checking one another. Things seen in the shadows or the cloak of darkness often appear larger and more exaggerated than what they really are.

From my side of the silence it appears to be expected and accepted that when there is a changing of the guard, so to speak, that casualties are just often part of the process. People come and go and that is just the way it is. The church must carry on, with or without those who cannot or will not go along with what is seen as the natural order of things. Conformity is expected and when it is not met, then rejection is okay.

With all that said I want to say that I have great peace that comes from God. It is almost hard to write this post because I am not trying to work out or work through some inner angst. I am not angry. I am not bitter. I am not confused. I am not in rebellion. I am not sad. I am not negative. So what am I?

I am in awe. From the beginning, the very beginning of this adventure, I have been excited that God would take time to stir up our church. Was it pretty? No. Was it nice? No. Did it hurt? Yes, and much more for some than for others. It has been a journey of self-reflection along the way. It has been a continuing question of wondering where, and if, I and my family fit into this masterpiece of God's creation.

Not all hard times should be credited to the devil. Sometimes God does the shaking because He knows we need it, in order to shake off things that hinder His work in our lives or in the life of our church. Sometimes our flesh, our carnal nature, is to blame for some of what we see and some of what we reap. Does the devil urge us in our carnal pursuits? Absolutely, but he should not be given all the credit.

It will soon be three years since we began attending Trammell. It has been a journey from the beginning. It has brought so much growth to me and my family, to be place in this small town, community church. The Lord has taught me, a happy tumbleweed, how to grow roots and be content in that planting. He gave me a place to serve, to grow in confidence, to learn how to hear His voice and follow His promptings even more than before. He surprised me with friendships with people I would not have thought it would have been possible. He surprised me many times over in this quaint little church.

I am persuaded that God has a big calling for what some would see as a small church. This adventure led me and another to look into the church's history from its beginning. I loved the conclusion of one pamphlet entitled, "A HISTORY OF TRAMMELL'S CREEK BAPTIST CHURCH TO 1964"

It reads as follows:

Never before in history has the future of Trammell's Creek Church looked as bright as it does today. The church has a good number of young people who are dedicated to the cause of Christ, and to the church. Also, the church has a good number of elderly people who are dedicated to the overall objective of a true Missionary Baptist Church.

From 1850 until 1964, the church has grown from thirty members to two hundred and eighteen, and since 1850, the church has advanced from quarter time services to a full time program. Since 1850 Trammell's Creek Church has been a lighthouse to those in spiritual darkness, and has served, in a great way, its purpose in the community.

Today Trammell's Creek Church looks forward to serving God; the community, the association, and the Southern Baptist Convention in a greater capacity than ever before.

The desire of Trammell's Creek Church is to know the will of God, and to be found doing the will of God when Jesus Christ returns for His bride.

My desire for my family is to be found serving the Lord together as a family, and with a church family. I seek people to serve alongside who are zealous for the things of God and the desire to love and serve others in obedience to what He calls and asks us to do. God is without limit and cannot be measured. He often calls us to do impossible things because those things are not impossible to Him.

He is our true source, whether it be financial, material, spiritual or any other thing. As much as we allow Him to He will meet our needs. He will give us wisdom, favor and divine encounters that are designed to help us, strengthen our faith and help spread the gospel, the Good News, of Jesus Christ.

While I still don't like the silence of my church family, I am no longer wounded by it. My heart has joy and love for all those we've gotten to know. So many of you contributed to the growth of our children. Your steadfast service at those times was always noted and appreciated. I look forward to learning and hearing about all the good things God does through your faithful congregation. Thank you for the parts you have played in my growth as well. I loved our seasons together and look forward to the next one that is soon to begin, no matter where it may take place.  

Jesus and the Cutter

Please take time to read the following story found in Mark 5:1-20 and then let's marvel at some of what it shows us. (I say some for surely there are things that we may miss or overlook.)

"Then they came to the other side of the sea, to the country of the Gadarenes. And when He (Jesus) had come out of the boat, immediately there met Him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit, who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no one could bind him, not even with chains, because he had often been bound with shackles and chains. And the chains had been pulled apart by him, and the shackles broken in pieces; neither could anyone tame him. And always, night and day, he was in the mountains and in the tombs, crying out and cutting himself with stones.

When he saw Jesus from afar, he ran and worshiped Him. And he cried out with a loud voice and said, “What have I to do with You, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I implore You by God that You do not torment me.”

For He said to him, “Come out of the man, unclean spirit!” Then He asked him, “What is your name?” And he answered, saying, “My name is Legion; for we are many.” Also he begged Him earnestly that He would not send them out of the country.

Now a large herd of swine was feeding there near the mountains. So all the demons begged Him, saying, “Send us to the swine, that we may enter them.” And at once Jesus gave them permission. Then the unclean spirits went out and entered the swine (there were about two thousand); and the herd ran violently down the steep place into the sea, and drowned in the sea.

So those who fed the swine fled, and they told it in the city and in the country. And they went out to see what it was that had happened. Then they came to Jesus, and saw the one who had been demon-possessed and had the legion, sitting and clothed and in his right mind. And they were afraid. And those who saw it told them how it happened to him who had been demon-possessed, and about the swine. Then they began to plead with Him to depart from their region.

And when He got into the boat, he who had been demon-possessed begged Him that he might be with Him. However, Jesus did not permit him, but said to him, “Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He has had compassion on you.” And he departed and began to proclaim in Decapolis all that Jesus had done for him; and all marveled."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is so much about this story that I love. If you read verse 4:35 you'll see that it was Jesus' idea to cross over to the other side in the boat from where they had been. He knew where He was going and what He was going to be met with. Jesus had a divine appointment with a demon-possessed man and the man most likely had no idea deliverance was even needed or possible.

This man was so plagued with demons that he had been removed from society, deemed not fit to live with and unable to be kept or tamed. He was in pain, tormented in his mind so much that he cut himself, possibly to lessen the pain or as a way to find some small relief from his captivity.

Despite being plagued with demons, despite being a cutter, despite being ostracized by society...WHEN HE SAW JESUS FROM AFAR, HE RAN AND WORSHIPPED HIM!! There weren't enough demons in him or in hell that could keep him from running to the One who had the cure for EVERYTHING that plagued him.

As he was running to Jesus, the demons within him were crying out in fear, wanting to know what they had to do with Him and not wanting to be tormented. How interesting that Satan and his devilish cohorts don't mind to torment us in mind, body and spirit but they, themselves, cry out for mercy in the presence of Jesus, not wanting the same done to them.

Jesus immediately dealt with the problem before Him, telling the unclean spirits to come out! He then asked their name and they had to comply and answered, "Legion, for we are many."

It does not matter how many devils you are fighting within or without. Once you start running to Jesus, He immediately starts cleaning house! Hallelujah!!

Jesus permitted the spirits to invade a herd of swine, who then ran into the ocean and perished. Note the reaction of the people. Once they heard what happened they came out. They saw the man, once possessed, now in his right mind and were afraid. They didn't want Jesus around. They asked Him to leave. Jesus complied with their request.

Let it be known, if you don't want Jesus He will not force Himself on you. He may continue to show His love, His greatness and His power to you through others around you, but He will not force His way into your life. You have the right and the free will to reject Him...but why would you? Oh, if you knew the love and the freedom that awaited you in a life spent with and for Him, you could never turn Him away.

The man set free wanted to go with Jesus, but He told the man, “Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He has had compassion on you.”

Jesus would not permit it because He wanted him to stay in his town and proclaim the message there amongst the people who knew him before he was set free. I wonder what the man thought about that. Would that be tough on him? Sometimes people who have known us the longest, especially before Christ entered the scene, can be the harshest critics. Despite that, the man immediately went and began to proclaim all that Jesus had done for him.

I love that scripture has an answer for everything we face. I love that this story tells us that this man was a cutter and that Jesus had everything he needed to be set free from the cutting and the tormenting spirits.

Jesus desires to have a Divine appointment with each of us. He wants to set us free so that we, too, may go and proclaim all that He has done and all of who He is!

**If you are a cutter or know someone who is, please take them to Mark chapter 5 and share how Jesus set one man free. Let them know that He can set them free as well.**

If you need help, please reach out to a teacher, counselor, pastor, friend, parent or trusted adult to help you navigate your way through your pain and to Jesus. You have value and there is a cure for your pain. Please make sure to reach out TODAY to SOMEONE.

When the New Wears Off

When children are given a new gift, any gift, they love it. They play with it all the time, sometimes proclaiming it is their new favorite toy. Then it happens. It may take a few weeks, a few days or even a few short hours. The new wears off. Suddenly that shiny, new toy is discarded amongst all the other toys that were once their favorite.

That phenomenon is not limited to children. Adults do it, too. Whether it be a new car, new home, new appliance, new clothes, shoes or whatever, the new on it has a shelf life. Look around your home. How many things do you see that the new has long since worn off of? We may have a few truly favorite things that we treasure, but what about the rest of it?

Now think about that task that God called you to do. Did He call you to preach? to teach? to sing? to evangelize? to serve in missions? Yes? Have you ever had days when you felt like the new wore off? Did you ever wonder if you heard Him right? if that task was still the task He was calling you to?

God's callings come in many shapes and forms. Each one is great. Each one is significant. Each one holds eternal value. Maybe your task is to raise your children with love and the knowledge of who Jesus is. Maybe your task is to help feed the hungry or visit the prisoners or minister to the ill and infirmed. Maybe your task is quietly sowing love in everything you do, sharing the salt and the light of the gospel by pure example. Maybe your task is prayer. Maybe your task is to mentor the youth in your neighborhood. Maybe your task is to provide a safe haven for those you find in trouble or distress.

Whatever your task, given by God, sometimes it's going to feel like the new wore off. In fact, you may question everything some days. The great thing about God and His word is that when it feels like the new wore off, and you find yourself in that dark place of wondering and worrying that maybe you missed what He was trying to tell you, take heart!!

Place yourself in His presence. Place yourself in His word and watch Him make all things NEW again. He can stir up your zeal, restore and confirm the vision that He gave you. He will strengthen you, refresh you and comfort you. He will encourage you. You don't have to trudge along with a worn out face, proclaiming like Droopy, "I'm sooo happy."

We don't have the luxury that children have when the new wears off. We can't simply toss God's calling to the side because it lost its shine. We can't hand it to the Lord and demand a new one. We must return to the Lord, fix our eyes on Jesus and when we've done all we can do to stand, then stand some more. Put on the armor of God as described in Ephesians 6 and take heart. He makes all things new.

What Do you Want Me to Do For You?

In Mark 10:33-37 we read that Jesus said to His disciples, “Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be betrayed to the chief priests and to the scribes; and they will condemn Him to death and deliver Him to the Gentiles; and they will mock Him, and scourge Him, and spit on Him, and kill Him. And the third day He will rise again.”

Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Him, saying, “Teacher, we want You to do for us whatever we ask.”

And He said to them, “What do you want Me to do for you?”

They said to Him, “Grant us that we may sit, one on Your right hand and the other on Your left, in Your glory.”

Think about this. Immediately after Jesus tells His disciples all that is to come relating to His death and resurrection, the first thing that James and John can think of to ask Him is to have a prominent seat next to Him in glory.

Maybe a modern day translation would read, "Uh, yeah, that's great, Jesus, but do you think that after you die and, you know, get to heaven, we could sit next to you and, uh, help to rule Your kingdom and all?"

Jesus told James and John, “You know that those who are considered rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant. And whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

After Jesus answered them they continued their journey. The story continues in verses 46-50:

“Now they came to Jericho. As He went out of Jericho with His disciples and a great multitude, blind Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus, sat by the road begging. And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Then many warned him to be quiet; but he cried out all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

So Jesus stood still and commanded him to be called. Then they called the blind man, saying to him, “Be of good cheer. Rise, He is calling you.”

And throwing aside his garment, he rose and came to Jesus.

Once again Jesus asked the question, "What do you want Me to do for you?"

Bartimaeus asked that he may receive his sight. He sought a need to be met.

Jesus met his need and replied, “Go your way; your faith has made you well.”

Bartimaeus was immediately healed and he followed Jesus on the road.

Note the contrast. James and John both sought to have their desires met. Bartimaeus asked for a need to be met. The question to each was the same. The motives of the hearts were different.

Jesus asks us the same question today, “What do you want Me to do for you?” What is your response? More importantly, what is the motive behind your reply?

May we see Jesus as well as blind Bartimaeus did so long ago, acknowledge Him for who He is and be humble in our requests before Him.

The Zombie Nerve

Do you ever get blind-sided by something someone says or does that hits a nerve that you thought was dead? By dead I mean you thought you didn't have to deal with being a bit reactionary, like maybe you had grown past that...then, BAM!! the dead nerve comes alive.

That happened to me recently. I am always telling my kids that they may not be able to control what others do or say but they can control how they respond. I say often that how we respond is a "choice not a condition". In other words, we are not afflicted with uncontrollable responses to life's less than favorable moments. We choose our responses.

Cue the Zombie Nerve!!

Now, here I am fighting the zombie within my self, the part that refuses to die. I may not have seen Zombie Nerve in a while yet here it was, in full, glorious color, evoking emotion after emotion for about two days.

So, what did I do? I sought the counsel of trusted friends. We prayed together. We pondered together and we reminded each other that, ultimately, God was in complete control. I rested in that knowledge, firmly persuaded that what God began He would complete.

God's word tells us that we must crucify our flesh daily. I wonder if He thought of us being like zombies when He had those words penned? It certainly fits. Personally, I am not a fan of zombie shows/movies, but I know zombies are hard to kill, and that if you are scratched or bitten by one then you become one also.

That falls right in line with when we allow our flesh to rule ove the spirit of God within us. We start to contaminate others who come in contact with us. No wonder the Lord told us to crucify our flesh daily. We must be vigilant at all times.

Love one another. Support one another. Be accountable to trusted friends who, when necessary, can help you conquer your own zombie nerve before you become the reason for the next zombie apocolypse in your church or town.

Unlike in the movies or the shows, there is a cure for zombie nerves. His name is Jesus. At His name every knee must bow and every tongue confess that He is Lord...even zombies. So, take it to Him, take up your cross and follow Him.

Love Never Fails

Love never fails.

We will never know the truth of that promise, we will never see its miraculous power if we do not love. Love without condition. Love without conniving. Love without arrogance. Love without pride. Love without judgment.

We, as a church, fail the world when we don't love to the point of succeeding to the victory that Christ has laid out before us. We, as humanity, fail each other when we withhold love from each other for our one of hundreds of supposedly justifiable reasons...wrong race, wrong religion, no religion, too rich, too poor, too broken, too pristine, too much talent, not enough talent, unworthy, feet are too big, nose is too small, yard is unkempt, too many animals, doesn't like dogs...and so our lists go one as to why we cannot love that one or those many.

What if we decided to take God's promise as a challenge? What if we challenged ourselves to love others until love did not fail? Why do we give up so easy? Love takes time. In fact, the scripture says that love is patient. It also says that love is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

What does our love for others look like? If is does not look as described then maybe that is why our love is failing. Let's make a decision to no longer fail at love because, according to God, who is Love, love never fails. Let's lay our excuses to the side and love without failing.

(Scripture references taken from 1 Corinthians 13 and 1 John 4:8)

Don't Strike the Rock!

Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Take the rod; you and your brother Aaron gather the congregation together. Speak to the rock before their eyes, and it will yield its water; thus you shall bring water for them out of the rock, and give drink to the congregation and their animals.” So Moses took the rod from before the Lord as He commanded him.

And Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock; and he said to them, “Hear now, you rebels! Must we bring water for you out of this rock?” Then Moses lifted his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod; and water came out abundantly, and the congregation and their animals drank.

Then the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not believe Me, to hallow Me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them.” ~Number 20:7-12
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Obedience is a big deal to God. The details of our obedience are also a big thing. In the above passage God told Moses to speak to the rock to bring forth water. Moses chose to strike the rock instead. When he did water still gushed forth, but his lack of attention to detail cost him his place in the Promised Land.

Why did the water still gush when Moses struck the rock instead of speaking to it? The scripture does not say but a couple of thoughts are:
-the people still had a need for water and God met that need.
-God honored Moses' faith despite his twist on what God had told him to do.

Attitude is everyting. The people of Israel had been contending with Moses just before, complaining against him. Moses sought the Lord, received his instructions but then proceeded to add his own twist to the instructions. Instead of speaking to rock he struck it.

Maybe Moses was angry with the people and their poor attititudes and their constant complaining. Maybe he thought, "What difference does it make whether I speak to the rock or strike it?"

The difference was life altering. Moses still got to lead the people to the Promised Land. He got to keep his job, but he lost his right to enjoy the blessing of that land for himself.

How often do we do the same thing? The Lord puts us in a place to lead others to Him and His instructions are simple, yet we find ourselves wanting to strike when He wants us to speak. We need to be so careful to pay attention to the details of what He wants us to do.

Attitude is everything. What attitude are we bringing into the assignments God has given us? If we are bringing anything more than love and simple obedience, then let us check to see if our rod is raised in the air, ready to strike.

Speak. It seemed so simple. Just speak to the rock. Surely he needed to do more than just speak. Surely we need to do more than just love. Speak. Lay down your rod. Lay down your way of providing for the people and just speak.

It is amazing how diffifcult it can be to just speak. Maybe, like Moses, we just want to strike. It has more flair than speaking. If we strike we show our strength. If we strike we might feel better, especially if the people are contentious and we think we've had enough. What difference does it make if we speak or if we strike? Speak. Just speak.

Don't lose the land that God wants to give you. Pay attention to the details. Don't strike the rock.

Subconscious Abortion

Abortion. It is an ugly word. It is a word that divides many, incites protests and violence, wounds and separates.

Abortion is medically defined as:

- Induced termination of a pregnancy with destruction of the embryo or fetus.
-Any of various procedures that result in the termination of a pregnancy.
-An operation or other procedure to terminate pregnancy before the fetus is viable.
-The premature termination of pregnancy by spontaneous or induced expulsion of a nonviable fetus from the uterus.

Generally speaking, Christians are largely seen as a group whose stance against abortion is staunchly pro-life. The argument is made that as soon as a woman’s egg is fertilized life begins; therefore the fertilized egg has the right to live, grow and be birthed into the world. Pro-lifers hold the position that even a mother who does not want her child, nor is capable of caring for her child, should not deny her child its right to life.

Adoption is listed as an option for a mother considering abortion. Likewise, there are many groups and individuals who devote their time and talents to provide the necessary support for a mother who is scared or not quite ready for the responsibility of motherhood. The support and options given often, literally, make the difference between life and death. 

Fast forward thirty years to the life of a child, now an adult, who was spared from being aborted in the womb. Maybe he is successful. Maybe his life is picture perfect. Maybe he is an addict. Maybe she has ‘been around the block’. Maybe they are living in the world, like the world, as fast and hard as they can. Maybe they cuss. Maybe they drink. Maybe they pray to a foreign god or no god at all. Whatever their circumstance, they seem ‘lost and undone’. They just don’t look like you or me.

They have been reduced to the ranks of one of many labels or stereotypes. They are disenfranchised, whether by choice or circumstance. They are seldom known by their given name. They are known by labels such as druggie, homeless, loose, ex-con, hopeless, ain’t never gonna change, dirty, less than, liar, thief, good for nothing….and the list goes on.

Let’s go a little further. This same person seems to cycle through their life from one struggle to the next. They repeat the same mistakes, the same bad behaviors…but they need help. Maybe they need food. Maybe they need a ride or a job. Maybe they want to hang out and talk about stuff, stuff that seems so far removed from where you have ever been or ever wanted to go in thought or reality.

What do we do? Surely there are other people more worthy or deserving of the help. Why should ‘they’ be helped? Maybe you think to yourself, "All they are going to do is squander what you give them or not appreciate it enough."

If a child struggles in the womb, doctors fight to save him.

If a child struggles in the classroom, teachers fight to educate him.
If a child struggles in the home, authorities fight to protect him.
When a child grows up, becomes an adult and struggles, society fights against him.

Abortion is also defined as:

-Something that is regarded as poorly made or done.
-Anything that fails to develop, progress, or mature.

We will fight hard to preserve a child’s right to life and we should. I support life at all stages. However, if we are not careful, we will easily commit subconscious abortion against the disenfranchised, the stereotypes and the ones whose names have been replaced with labels. We will abort the ones who seem to have become an inconvenience to our otherwise ordered and structured lives. We will abort the ones we have decided we just don’t want anymore. We will abort the ones we think aren’t trying hard enough, who don’t meet our predetermined requirements for our goodwill.

How do we subconsciously abort them? We remove them from our thoughts. We remove them from our lists. We reduce them in importance. We favor one over another. We compare them and they always fail and pale in comparison. Without realizing it we begin to play our own version of God.

We forget that we are simply called to plant and water the seeds of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We forget that it is God, Himself, who brings forth the increase. While God is no respecter of persons we often become judge, jury and executioner. We exalt and we put down.

We forget that there is power in the name of Jesus. We forget that He has power to save, heal, deliver, set free, redeem, enlighten, comfort and restore. We forget that God is love. We forget that love never fails.

Jesus told us to love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. He told us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. He did not include any clauses or any terms and conditions.

In the Book of 1 John the word, love, is listed 51 times. Here are a few of those listings:

“He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”  -1 John 4:8

“In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”  -1 John 4:10-11

 “If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?  And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.”    -1 John 4:20-21

Are people going to try to take advantage of us? Of course. What should we do? Love them anyway. No one likes to be taken advantage of, but we are told in God’s word to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. We should walk in wisdom and be led by the Holy Spirit. Will there be times we can’t or shouldn’t help someone? Yes, but we need to be certain that we are acting in obedience to the Lord.

We need to check ourselves daily…our hearts, minds and attitudes. How do we view this world around us? What if the very life that was saved at conception is later subconsciously aborted by us? Let’s keep it simple. Let's lay aside our surgical instruments of judgment, self-righteousness, pride, smugness and any other tool used to perform our subconscious procedures against those whom we refuse to know, love and acknowledge.

Let's fight to love people from all 'walks of life' the way God instructs and may that love flow freely and be drawn from the depths of sincerity within us.

Don't Be a Fox

As much as I try to be understanding when I know or realize someone doesn't like me, it still manages to carry a trace of hurt with it. I try to be very mindful to not let any bitter or unwholesome roots spring up within me, but is not without great effort at times.

On one hand, it makes you feel like you have to set your face against the wind, steady your gaze and prepare to once again to walk alone. It may cause you to question the tasks you know God has called you to. You know He is greater and, ultimately, you will overcome through Him and by His grace...but the insecurity tries to creep in and to overthrow God's plans and purpose. 

"Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, for our vines have tender grapes."   Song of Solomon 2:15

We often think of the little foxes as being outside the church, outside the fellowship of believers...but not always. Sometimes we are the foxes that spoil another's vine. Shame on us when we do. We often hinder the work of God in another because of our actions or attitudes. 

We think we have a right to our opinions, even if those opinions serve only to tear another down. If we belong to Christ, we gave up our right to ourselves. We yielded our lives to His will, His plan and His purpose. We yielded ourselves to His love.

Jesus can save anyone who calls upon His name, yet we offer no one redemption for mistakes made, real or imagined. "Love God. Love people." Those were the two commandments that Jesus used to sum up all of the law. 

He didn't specify any exclusions. In fact, He took it a step further when He said, "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?" ~Matthew 5:43-46

Don't like someone? Pray for them. Bless them. Do good to them and then pray some more. You just might change them. God just might change you.

"Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people. But then He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd. Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.” ~Matthew 9:35-38

We are called to love and serve like Jesus. According to God's word we are already short-handed, so let's not waste time as foxes. Let us go out and be laborers. Build up and stop tearing down.

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Your Sister in Christ,
Jenny Newman

Ring Your Bell

Do you remember being in junior high or high school and watching students perform a song using handbells? I can remember that. Just by picking up and ringing different types or sizes of bells they were able to put together an entire song.

Now, if a person were to just pick up one bell and ring it loudly without any rhythm or control we would find that sound very irritating.

1 Corinthians 13:1 tells us, "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal." (maybe we even sound like a ringing bell being violently shook)

As Christians,God gave each of us a message to share with the world that is much like us ringing a bell. That message is Jesus. We should be compelled to ring our bell in a way that others would want to stop and hear the message of the bell.

Some preach, some sing, some teach, others evangelize in the open square. Our method of delivery is the difference in our types or sizes of bells.

Can one bell make a whole song? Maybe, but how much more would that one bell be enhanced if it were joined with other bells, working together with self control, the right tempo and cooperation? What if love was the melody with which every song was played?

It is easy to put down the bell that God has given us to ring and, instead, pick up a cymbal and clang it incessantly. We can complain about our president, our government, welfare, gun control, men, women or anything else. We can clang that cymbal loud and proud, but that is ultimately a sound that others will grow weary of hearing.

1 Corinthians 13:8 says in part, "Love NEVER fails." Do you believe that? I read that as a promise from God.

Love is not for sissies. It is easier to hate and hold grudges than it is to love. Love is the Christians's secret weapon when used the way God intends us to.

God has gifted you with talents and gifts. How are you using them? Does the devil have you distracted with the woes of this world? Does bitterness make it hard to ring your bell? Try love.

Pick up the bell God gave you. Find others who are ringing their bells and join them. Let God's message flow through you all as the melody of His love ties your song together.