Saying Sorry

I read a quote by Joyce Meyer that asks, "Are you willing to take on the role of a peacemaker? Are you willing to be the first one to say, "I'm sorry"?"

I began to think about those two words, "I'm sorry". They are often the hardest words for a person to say. It may be generalized that men have a harder time saying theses two words than women. While I do not have official data, I can only surmise as to the reasons this may or may not be true.

In the dictionary sorry is defined as:

1. causing sorrow; grievous
2. grieved for a loss, a mistake, a sin, etc. ; feeling sorrow, regret or penitence
3. melancholy; dismal; gloomy; mournful

The act of saying I'm sorry can seem like an arduous task. Maybe we still feel right in our minds, therefore we should not have to be the first one to say it. Perhaps we are not ready to let go of the sting of the event, the anger or grief that it brought, so we hold on. Pride refuses to yield. Our role as a superior (as in a parent, boss, leader) prevents our lips from uttering such a phrase that may be so great as to restore peace, harmony and even healing to another. We defiantly say within ourselves, "No! I will not  be the first or the one to say, "I'm sorry." We are right and that is how we plan to stay.

As a parent we should realize the importance of being able to tell our children, "I'm sorry." Our willingness to yield ourselves to their forgiveness molds them and teaches them a valuable truth. Parents mess up. We make mistakes and we should acknowledge it when we do. We should seek to minister to our children the healing words of a heartfelt apology. We, in the church, often speak about serving one another in love. Our children should not be the exception. We should serve them in love as well.

As a boss or leader it may be even harder to say, "I'm sorry." Many industry leaders are taught to never apologize, as it can be perceived to admit fault, blame and/or responsibility. At some point someone needs to be responsible. Fear often dictates where common sense, common decency and courtesy should prevail.

It would seem that the phrase, "I'm sorry" could be the most under-used phrase, despite the power that the words may have when spoken from a sincere, contrite heart.

Doctors often heal bodies with medicine or therapies designed for the affliction. They are trained in their profession and/or specialty. Words and wrong actions are wounding to the very core of our being. They often have a more devastating effect on people than the affirmities their physical bodies may face. Hearts are broken, spirits are crushed, self-esteem is stripped away, our sense of worth is made worthless and the brightness of our intellect is often made dim simply by the words we speak to one another.

I do not want to be justified at the expense of your spirit and your mind being crushed. If that is how am I justified then perhaps I have been lied to and perhaps I have believed the lie. What about you? Have you believed the lie? Do you need to be right more than you need to make things right?

We do not have to have specialized training to administer healing words. We can begin today, this very moment, in administering the healing balm of a sincere apology. We can change our actions or behaviors that inflict pain or that antagonizes another. Love, humility, empathy, remorse, gentleness, peacefulness and forgiveness are all instruments of healing that we can carry with us everywhere we go.

Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart;Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me,And lead me in the way everlasting."