Communication Can Be Awkward

As much as I value and love communication I won't always share what's on my mind with another. Often the reason is because if I share then I feel like the other person's response may be simply be out of duty or obligation, especially if what I share is related to how I feel about something.  Sometimes I don't share because, even though I may have a valid opinion, maybe it is not my 'place' to provide input. Sometimes when I share it can make another feel awkward, nothing really gets resolved and I (maybe both of us) are left feeling less likely to try that again.

Communication is tricky, especially if there is not an already existing foundation of trust or friendship between the two parties. If effort is not made, then misunderstandings can occur. People assume you mean one thing when maybe you mean another, however they do not always ask for clarification. They just run with what they think they know or heard from another. You might call that miscommunication, failure to communicate adequately.

A lack of communication between two people is difficult. When you add more people into the equation, then the difficulty and possibility of miscommunication is magnified. So, why would a large group not be able to communicate with each other? I don't know all the reasons but here are a few:

-"I don't want to stir up trouble."

-"It's not my place."

-"What's the use? It won't do any good."

-"My opinion is not worth much."

-"I am scared to speak up."

-"If I speak up someone may retaliate against me."

-"It will work itself out."

-"I feel like I've already tried but no one is listening."

I am sure there are other reasonings but you get the idea. Maybe you aren't the only feeling the way you do. Maybe others would also like to talk about  the issues. 

Communication is not always neat and tidy. Sometimes it can be messy, stirs the emotions and challenges us to continue listening even when we don't like what is being said. The key is to not stop listening. Make sure you understand what the other person is saying or implying. Though you may not like what you hear, if you have accurate information then you can at least make wise decisions from that. 

What if it really is not your 'place' to contribute or to start the conversation? If you see it happening or are involved in a second-hand kind of way, then I would suggest you simply encourage those who can do something about it. Encourage him/her or them to pursue understanding, to do the hard yards by being pro-active. Encourage someone to step up and step out of their comfort zone. 

As parents we encourage, almost demand, that our children learn how to resolve their conflicts. We teach them what the bible says about love, forgiveness and reconciliation. Yet we, as adults, harbor dark thoughts toward one another. We don't resolve conflicts. Rather, we let them fester and boil over and then agonize at the results of something that we had an element of control over. 

Whether the lack of communication is in our home, our business or our church we need to be mindful of our part. Cast aside fear and 'be the change'. Pursue that change in love. Don't be demeaning nor demanding. The best way to be heard is to be willing to listen. 

May you live long and communicate often. Much love to you all.