Maybe We Should Just Go Naked

This month marks one year that my family and I have lived in our current home. It also marks one year since we began fellowshipping with a local church in our community. In addition, it marks one year since I went through a difficult process of separation and healing from another beloved group. It has been a year of sorrow, regret, loneliness, joy, new friendships, isolation, misunderstandings, reflection, meditation, prayer, evaluation, observation...all kinds of -tions. 

It has been a year of growth. It has also been a year of fellowshipping with many other believers from other churches. From baptists to pentecostal to full gospel to Methodist and non-denominational, we all had one thing in common. Jesus. It did not matter if we sang hymns, praise and worship or spiritual warfare songs, I noticed that God always responded to sincere hearts. He does not seem to have a favorite genre. If He did maybe it would simply be called 'complete and sincere surrender'. 

A year ago I was weighed down in my spirit. I felt blacklisted and ostracized. This, in turn, built walls of suspicion and insecurity around me. It was an internal conflict, because, on one hand I could recognize the walls forming. On the other hand, I was in the process of healing and these walls were kind of like scabs. They formed a protective layer on the outside while the inside was still tender. 

Much of God's saving grace came when my aunt told me of a weekly prayer meeting taking place not too far away. I was craving prayer...and a place to let my guard down. The meetings were incredible. The presence of the Lord was so tangible and I felt such freedom in my spirit to truly worship the Lord without fear or prejudice. My healing seemed to truly manifest itself week after week. I saw unity amongst many churches as different ones would come together to pray and worship. The denominations varied and faded away when all seemed to join together in one accord to praise and worship the Lord. 

Earlier in the year I wrote about old coats and the comfort an old coat can bring. It read in part: "Many of us may have a favorite coat hanging in our closet. Maybe we have had it for years. It might be worn but we just cannot seem to discard it."

The point was that we often drag  around old hurts, wounds and other things like an old favorite coat. At the time I thought I was being asked to wear a new coat...and maybe I was. I struggled with the fit of the new coat. It seemed tight, stuffy, itchy and just never seemed to fit. So, as I struggled against the new coat I found that my eyes were no longer on Jesus. I was too busy tugging on sleeves or pulling down on the hem. I was constantly fidgeting. 

I have recently discovered a solution for those pesky new coats that just won't fit. I have decided to just go naked.

It's risky, but I won't have to worry about fidgeting so much. So, when and where shall I go naked? A familiar quote comes to mind, "Go big or go home." Maybe I'll just go everywhere naked. It saves a bit of decision making and no one can feel discriminated against. In fact, I encourage you all to consider going naked as well. (For those of you prone to taking things quite literally, please continue reading before posting new pics to your Facebook profile.)

When the Lord took me to Australia ten years ago, one of the amazing things He did was to heal me of so many wounded places in my spirit and soul. I remember, as I sat in my friend's living room, seeing myself in my mind's eye. I was standing naked amidst a pile of rubble as far as my eyes could see. I felt so exposed (no pun intended). As I saw that I knew that the rubble surrounding me was the walls He had torn down from around me. He surrounded me with love and acceptance while there and, before I knew it, I was being healed and emboldened. 

Fast forward to this past year and you may understand why I could so quickly recognize the walls forming. I did not want to be trapped behind those walls again. The Lord told me once that, even though I thought He was allowed behind my walls, when we keep others out we limit God's ability to work in our lives. He works through those around us. His gifts, His grace and His love are hindered when they have to try and pass through walls we think are there for our protection. They may serve a purpose for a time, like scabs. Eventually, the wounds must heal, otherwise those walls can lead to our destruction. 

As this year has worn on I have learned to fidget less. I am learning more to be okay with who I am and how I was created. I think we all struggle with wanting to be accepted from time to time. My struggle was seldom voiced but often felt. I felt so different from so many. I think I am a shape shifter, because if I am supposed to fit into a round hole, then I am square peg. If the hole is square then maybe I become a heptagon or if the hole is triangular then I am sure I become anything but what is intended. You get the idea. 

I may never settle completely in one place, church, town, state or country. I have often been told I have gypsy blood. For me, I just see so many people yet to be met, loved, encouraged or acknowledged. At times, it can be frustrating to be in one spot for so long. I have to say that I think this past year I have been slightly rooted for the purpose of growth and cultivation. I confess, I sometimes dream of being transplanted, but I understand. Patience cannot be cultivated in a hurry. 

So, as I look back on this year in review I have decided to:

-Love more and judge less.

-Remember that God can be found where sincere hearts abound.

-Stop trying on coats, just go naked.

-Be myself and know that is enough. 

-Keep my eyes on Jesus.

-Be bold as instructed by the Lord.

-Let the Lord love me and be okay when others may not. 

-Be willing to be wrong.

-Be willing to be right. (Sometimes this is hard when it means that someone else may be seen as wrong and it could cause injury)

-Always be willing to be amazed.

-Remember that, oftentimes, the more we learn, the less we know...especially regarding the Lord.

For me, going naked simply means to just come as I am before the Lord. No pretense. No conforming to more than the word of God. No coats...and no hats for that matter. Just as I am, without one plea. Completely accepted. Never rejected. Standing naked in the presence of my God. While, at first,  you may feel awkward and 'exposed', know that He will clothe you in His love and in the light of His glory. Standing naked before God is very liberating. You can commune fully and completely with Him, knowing that you are created in His image and He sees the beauty of His creation when He looks at you. 

I am thankful for this past year. Whenever the Lord reminds you that He knows you by name and you see His hand at work in your life, you cannot help but be amazed...and humbled. His love is more than can be shared without you having that firsthand experience. I encourage you to seek Jesus. He is not a trial basis god. He does not do 'tricks' for  your entertainment. However, when you finally do say yes, then you will know. Jesus. There's just something about that name. 

This concludes my year in review. Many blessings to you all.