It has been six weeks since my latest adventure with the Lord began. It wasn't just my adventure. It was one also shared with my church family. I am certain many would disagree with the use of the word adventure in this circumstance, but it is and can be what you make of it.
It has caused me to run through a full range of emotions that few would know about. This adventure has brought about massive changes for some, inflicted pain and hurt on others and left some feeling very dejected and rejected. The most often used form of communication during this time has been silence. Whether the silence is due to indifference or discomfort in knowing how to talk to someone I am not sure. Sometimes, the lack of communication is so profound that I credit God with it and trust He must be needing to do His best work in each of us through that silence. It is hard to fathom that so many have so little to say on such important things as related to this adventure.
I have thought about sharing my heart for a while but have been waiting until I felt released to do so. I did not want to share at the height of any one emotion. So much time has passed, in one way, it seems like years have gone by. One could almost say, "Why be concerned about it now? The past is in the past." However, that is not true.
I understand the need for people to want to return to "business as usual", but it is not and will not be the same as so many weeks ago. Believe it or not, these thoughts are not based on the absence of one man. My and my family's absence is not based on that singular event. Ours is so much more complex that that.
This adventure has led me from being a cheerleader for supernatural reconciliation to seeing a present darkness that is woven into the fabric of the assembly, to watching friends and acquaintances sink into content denial of such things. I have been second-guessed, given credit for creating controversy, and while there may be more, that is the little that I am aware of.
The silence is like the darkness. It breeds fear and contempt. It runs full throttle with assumptions, never fact checking or heart checking one another. Things seen in the shadows or the cloak of darkness often appear larger and more exaggerated than what they really are.
From my side of the silence it appears to be expected and accepted that when there is a changing of the guard, so to speak, that casualties are just often part of the process. People come and go and that is just the way it is. The church must carry on, with or without those who cannot or will not go along with what is seen as the natural order of things. Conformity is expected and when it is not met, then rejection is okay.
With all that said I want to say that I have great peace that comes from God. It is almost hard to write this post because I am not trying to work out or work through some inner angst. I am not angry. I am not bitter. I am not confused. I am not in rebellion. I am not sad. I am not negative. So what am I?
I am in awe. From the beginning, the very beginning of this adventure, I have been excited that God would take time to stir up our church. Was it pretty? No. Was it nice? No. Did it hurt? Yes, and much more for some than for others. It has been a journey of self-reflection along the way. It has been a continuing question of wondering where, and if, I and my family fit into this masterpiece of God's creation.
Not all hard times should be credited to the devil. Sometimes God does the shaking because He knows we need it, in order to shake off things that hinder His work in our lives or in the life of our church. Sometimes our flesh, our carnal nature, is to blame for some of what we see and some of what we reap. Does the devil urge us in our carnal pursuits? Absolutely, but he should not be given all the credit.
It will soon be three years since we began attending Trammell. It has been a journey from the beginning. It has brought so much growth to me and my family, to be place in this small town, community church. The Lord has taught me, a happy tumbleweed, how to grow roots and be content in that planting. He gave me a place to serve, to grow in confidence, to learn how to hear His voice and follow His promptings even more than before. He surprised me with friendships with people I would not have thought it would have been possible. He surprised me many times over in this quaint little church.
I am persuaded that God has a big calling for what some would see as a small church. This adventure led me and another to look into the church's history from its beginning. I loved the conclusion of one pamphlet entitled, "A HISTORY OF TRAMMELL'S CREEK BAPTIST CHURCH TO 1964"
It reads as follows:
Never before in history has the future of Trammell's Creek Church looked as bright as it does today. The church has a good number of young people who are dedicated to the cause of Christ, and to the church. Also, the church has a good number of elderly people who are dedicated to the overall objective of a true Missionary Baptist Church.
I understand the need for people to want to return to "business as usual", but it is not and will not be the same as so many weeks ago. Believe it or not, these thoughts are not based on the absence of one man. My and my family's absence is not based on that singular event. Ours is so much more complex that that.
This adventure has led me from being a cheerleader for supernatural reconciliation to seeing a present darkness that is woven into the fabric of the assembly, to watching friends and acquaintances sink into content denial of such things. I have been second-guessed, given credit for creating controversy, and while there may be more, that is the little that I am aware of.
The silence is like the darkness. It breeds fear and contempt. It runs full throttle with assumptions, never fact checking or heart checking one another. Things seen in the shadows or the cloak of darkness often appear larger and more exaggerated than what they really are.
From my side of the silence it appears to be expected and accepted that when there is a changing of the guard, so to speak, that casualties are just often part of the process. People come and go and that is just the way it is. The church must carry on, with or without those who cannot or will not go along with what is seen as the natural order of things. Conformity is expected and when it is not met, then rejection is okay.
With all that said I want to say that I have great peace that comes from God. It is almost hard to write this post because I am not trying to work out or work through some inner angst. I am not angry. I am not bitter. I am not confused. I am not in rebellion. I am not sad. I am not negative. So what am I?
I am in awe. From the beginning, the very beginning of this adventure, I have been excited that God would take time to stir up our church. Was it pretty? No. Was it nice? No. Did it hurt? Yes, and much more for some than for others. It has been a journey of self-reflection along the way. It has been a continuing question of wondering where, and if, I and my family fit into this masterpiece of God's creation.
Not all hard times should be credited to the devil. Sometimes God does the shaking because He knows we need it, in order to shake off things that hinder His work in our lives or in the life of our church. Sometimes our flesh, our carnal nature, is to blame for some of what we see and some of what we reap. Does the devil urge us in our carnal pursuits? Absolutely, but he should not be given all the credit.
It will soon be three years since we began attending Trammell. It has been a journey from the beginning. It has brought so much growth to me and my family, to be place in this small town, community church. The Lord has taught me, a happy tumbleweed, how to grow roots and be content in that planting. He gave me a place to serve, to grow in confidence, to learn how to hear His voice and follow His promptings even more than before. He surprised me with friendships with people I would not have thought it would have been possible. He surprised me many times over in this quaint little church.
I am persuaded that God has a big calling for what some would see as a small church. This adventure led me and another to look into the church's history from its beginning. I loved the conclusion of one pamphlet entitled, "A HISTORY OF TRAMMELL'S CREEK BAPTIST CHURCH TO 1964"
It reads as follows:
Never before in history has the future of Trammell's Creek Church looked as bright as it does today. The church has a good number of young people who are dedicated to the cause of Christ, and to the church. Also, the church has a good number of elderly people who are dedicated to the overall objective of a true Missionary Baptist Church.
From 1850 until 1964, the church has grown from thirty members to two hundred and eighteen, and since 1850, the church has advanced from quarter time services to a full time program. Since 1850 Trammell's Creek Church has been a lighthouse to those in spiritual darkness, and has served, in a great way, its purpose in the community.
Today Trammell's Creek Church looks forward to serving God; the community, the association, and the Southern Baptist Convention in a greater capacity than ever before.
The desire of Trammell's Creek Church is to know the will of God, and to be found doing the will of God when Jesus Christ returns for His bride.
My desire for my family is to be found serving the Lord together as a family, and with a church family. I seek people to serve alongside who are zealous for the things of God and the desire to love and serve others in obedience to what He calls and asks us to do. God is without limit and cannot be measured. He often calls us to do impossible things because those things are not impossible to Him.
He is our true source, whether it be financial, material, spiritual or any other thing. As much as we allow Him to He will meet our needs. He will give us wisdom, favor and divine encounters that are designed to help us, strengthen our faith and help spread the gospel, the Good News, of Jesus Christ.
While I still don't like the silence of my church family, I am no longer wounded by it. My heart has joy and love for all those we've gotten to know. So many of you contributed to the growth of our children. Your steadfast service at those times was always noted and appreciated. I look forward to learning and hearing about all the good things God does through your faithful congregation. Thank you for the parts you have played in my growth as well. I loved our seasons together and look forward to the next one that is soon to begin, no matter where it may take place.
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