What's a War Between Friends?

A silent war was waged

between you and I.

I don't know 

How it happened

And cannot tell you why. 

Are we jealous?

Are we threatened?

How can we really know? 

This war that stands between us

Has yet to really show.

So we go on as days go by,

Strangers in passing,

Like ships in the night. 

For all appearances
It seems everything is alright.

We play a charade 

Of friendship, or

Acquaintance,

Is more the word.

Sometimes we talk

But seldom are heard. 

Although we do not fight

It seems we don't agree.

I'm not sure what

Is the problem.

Is it you?

Or is it me?

It seems we've much in common,

Even our walls appear the same.

So closely we are guarded,

And so we play this game. 

I imagine you are funny

And ever so sweet to know.

I have a wicked sense of humor,

But to you it does not show. 

I sometimes lament 

about our friendship,

That never got to form.

Perhaps we're both 

A little battle-weary

And our trust is a little worn.

Still, I cannot help but wonder,

You see, it's what I often do.

I wonder about people,

I wonder about you.

So often I want to reach out,

To walk beside you 

As a friend,

But I understand your distance

Though it seems 

This war

May never end.

I could wave 

A white flag of surrender,

To try and forge 

A compromise,

But would your

Jaded eyes behold its color

And even recognize

It as a sign of peace,

A sign of love,

A sign of friendship

If you will?

I would meet you 

At the top

If you were willing 

To climb the hill. 

But how do I do that

If you do not even

Acknowledge we 

Are at war?

If your denial

maintains your distance,

Then perhaps we'll never know

How great a force 

We could be together

And how together

We could grow.

We wrestle not against flesh,

And not against blood

Yet here we are 

You and I.

Wrestling to know 

Each other, 

Not understanding why.

Why are we strangers?

Why aren't we friends?

They whys in this war

Quite possibly have no end.

I don't mind the questions

Nor do I mind 

The pursuit to understand. 

I often contemplate 

In silence and in prayer. 

I must confess 

I have a handicap,
And thought it needed

To be shared.

I am socially awkward, you see.
Polite conversation
is difficult for me.
I struggle to talk
About the weather,
And I struggle
to answer, "How are you?"
You see I want
To be too honest.
I want my answers to be true.

But how can I be honest
When an answer you
Do not really seek,
And a cursory glance
Is all you can afford.
It is in these moments
Of shallow interaction
That I am sadly convinced
We are in an unnamed war.

I war to be different.
You war to be the same,
Or is it the other way around?
Does it matter
Which is true,
As we behold the
Casualties on the ground?

Our friendship is one casualty.
Like an aborted fetus
In the womb.
It was taken before
It had a chance at life,
Like a flower's wilted bloom.

So where do we go from here?
How does a silent war
even try to find an end?
How do our walls
Come down, so
That a friendship
May begin?

Perhaps the walls remain
And our friendship
Is denied,
Perhaps in our
own minds
We each think we
Have already tried.

Would it be true
That the war would
Remain
If indeed we each
Had really tried?
Would our efforts
Be so much in vain?
Perhaps instead it
Is really pride or fear
Of feeling pain.

The pain of rejection,
The pain of betrayal
Pick a pain,
I am sure any would do.
At the end of the day
It's really just fear
That keeps you from me
And me from you.

In case it ever
Crossed your mind,
One more thing,
Before I go,
I really don't dislike you.
You can't hate someone
You do not know.

If ever you need
Help to dismantle
The bricks from
Your wall,
I hope you will
Not hesitate
To give me a call.

Once we we are finished,
And once we are through,
We can work
On my wall,
And I'll be sure to
Call on you.


This is dedicated to all the strangers I know who may one day become friends and to all my friends are still yet strangers. May we set fear and presuppositions aside. May we be willing to be surprised at how awesome we each are.