Spiritual Hobo

Mark 2:1-12 (emphasis vv. 1-4)
2 And again He entered Capernaum after some days, and it was heard that He was in the house. 2 Immediately many gathered together, so that there was no longer room to receive them, not even near the door. And He preached the word to them. 3 Then they came to Him, bringing a paralytic who was carried by four men. 4 And when they could not come near Him because of the crowd, they uncovered the roof where He was. So when they had broken through, they let down the bed on which the paralytic was lying.

5 When Jesus saw their faith, He said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven you.”

6 And some of the scribes were sitting there and reasoning in their hearts, 7 “Why does this Man speak blasphemies like this? Who can forgive sins but God alone?”

8 But immediately, when Jesus perceived in His spirit that they reasoned thus within themselves, He said to them, “Why do you reason about these things in your hearts? 9 Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven you,’ or to say, ‘Arise, take up your bed and walk’? 10 But that you may know that the Son of Man has 2power on earth to forgive sins”—He said to the paralytic, 11 “I say to you, arise, take up your bed, and go to your house.” 12 Immediately he arose, took up the bed, and went out in the presence of them all, so that all were amazed and glorified God, saying, “We never saw anything like this!”

Jesus is so amazingly awesome. The paralytic and his friends knew that. They were so convinced that they were determined to get in one way or another. I look around at the church today and just sigh. They just don't get it. Why not?! Oh, you can read many other blogs and articles written by people more educated than myself. Some have statistics to show the same thing. Church attendance is declining rapidly. Zeal for God's house is all but a memory. Personally, that really bothers me.

In my own sphere of interaction I have tried to rally the cry to action and it mostly falls on deaf ears and unwilling hearts. Oh, I have found one or two who share the same concerns and observe the same behaviors. I believe in and like to pursue the impossible. I know and am SO convinced that NOTHING is IMPOSSIBLE with God. Why is that so hard to believe? People in the church may claim to know it but their actions (or lack of actions) deny that truth. It saddens me greatly. My husband and I have two young children who I hope to raise in the church, but is it safe to raise them in the church? How long before their convictions become watered down and impotent?

I find it easier to teach them to overcome the world through love and faith in Jesus than it is to have to UN-teach them what the church shows by example. I understand that we, as Christians, confuse the world with our watered down faith, lack of love, judgment and Do-As-I-Say-But-Not-As-I-Do lives that we live. I am NOT against the church. I would love to fellowship with other believers, loving and exhorting one another in the faith...but I do not want to play church. I do not believe that church should only minister inwardly to those who choose to attend. Cause-and-effect dictate that if we are truly a Christian who spends time with the Lord, in His presence and in His word, then we should be supernaturally transformed by His love and naturally becoming salt and Light to this world around us.

What that means is that our flesh should die daily simply by being in the Lord's word and presence. Crucifying our flesh should not be an act of our will but, rather, a natural result of time spent with the Lord.

I attend church that is filled with lovely people. I know many would pray for me if I have a need. I am not ranting against this church. My observations are from viewing many churches and people who profess Christ and that is where it ends. Perhaps it is a mixture of the word being choked out by the cares of this world, apathy, fear, or simply not knowing what to do or even fear of being ostracized for daring to try and do something, especially when that something has been given to them by the Lord.

I want fellowship, but I cannot integrate into a body that will not yield or pursue anything more than what they have been doing for decades. Again, it saddens me. I recently left Facebook because it was time. I felt liberated and free and alone. However, I do not mind being alone. It is necessary and I know beyond doubt that it is in obedience to the Lord. I no longer feel I have to prove anything. I don't have to 'rally the troops' to pursue anything. I know that if help is needed, then the Lord will choose from where that help comes.

I have been set free from Facebook, from needing affirmation and from needing to belong. I am okay being on the outside. It is not the place I try to be, however, I always seem to end up there naturally. To be honest, I don't fight that anymore. It no longer saddens me or makes me question what is wrong with me. I am where the Lord would have me. My obedience to Him is more important than anything the world or the church could offer. He has proven Himself beyond measure my whole life. That's why I just don't understand how the church can play dead and be content to isolate themselves from the world around them.

I feel like a spiritual hobo with my knapsack thrown over my shoulder, waiting to catch the next train that passes by.

Isaiah 6:8
8 Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: “Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”