Time with Youth

The timing of this piece is interesting. I wrote it late last night. Today after church the youth minister had a meeting to discuss the youth group in the church and the vision he and his wife have for the group. I attended because I had an interest and wanted to see where it may lead. I have always had a fondness for teen ministry and, though my season may have passed, my heart is never far from it. _____________________________________________________________

Many years ago I ministered to the local youth. We went to church together, had bible study in my home, took trips to Nashville and hung out throughout the week. We’d go out to eat and shared many wonderful conversations regarding, faith, family, life and struggles. I was in my mid-twenties during that time, had no children of my own and had no idea what it was to be a mom. I was always careful and mindful that ‘my’ kids had mothers and I communicated with their moms as often as necessary.

I wanted my kids to know the importance of honoring their parents and never sought to be a replacement for anyone’s mother. Many of the kids I knew came from broken, troubled homes or simply single parent homes. Many had struggles and it was a humbling experience to be trusted by so many. Many times my prayer to God would be something like this, “Lord, if you have to take them early, please don’t take them before they are ready to go.”

Little did I know that some of them would be taken early. I met Sabrina in 1999 when she was about 12 or 13. She was the kind of girl that many flocked to. She had a loveable, zany personality and although we were close, getting her to come to church was like chasing the wind. However, when she did go I would use that as a draw card to motivate others in the group. I would say, “Are you going to church today? Sabrina’s going.” It was positive peer pressure. I never worried about why kids would load up and go with me almost weekly. I simply believed that if they were seated in the presence of God’s word that the Holy Spirit would do His work.

Do you know how precious it is to see one of your kids respond to the loving draw of the Holy Spirit? I wasn’t a mother then but my heart still swelled with love, thankfulness, tears, understanding and wonder. What was even greater than watching that teen make a decision for Christ or simply responding to a need for prayer was when nearly every other member of our group would go up behind and beside that one and support him/her in prayer. Many times I have been surrounded by that same protective love and care when I have knelt and prayed for a need. That is the true work of God, when His love is so poured into one life that it cannot help but pour into another, as naturally as taking our next breath.

In 2006, after several years of friendship, Sabrina told me over lunch that she wanted to give her life to Christ. We were going to church and so, at the invitation call, she went forward and prayed to the Lord and accepted His gift of salvation. I held her baby as she made that confession. A few weeks later she was baptized. On July 12, 2007 Sabrina died as a result of a gunshot wound. She was 22 years old.

By this time in my life I was married and my first child was nearly seventh months old. I worked full-time. My life had gotten busy. I was not walking as close to the Lord as I wanted when I got that message on my answering machine telling me that Sabrina had died. I drove to her home where everyone was gathered. It was a tragic event that was hard for most to process. Many looked to me for answers and I had none to give. My life had gotten so busy that my connection to God seemed distant. Despite that, I had something that I had never had before. I had supernatural peace. It was like being in a bubble and seeing all this grief played out around me and feeling none of the effects.

While I was amazed by this peace, I was afraid to share it. I didn’t know how to transfer and express this peace without it seeming like a slap in the face of those hurting most. God was present for each of us. He gave me that peace to share, but because I felt distant from Him I was afraid to share and I gave into that fear. Her husband asked me to speak at the funeral and I did. His grace was with me, though I felt so ill-prepared for the task. If I had just looked up or turned around I would have seen that the Lord was right there, despite the distance I felt. I allowed fear and shame to dictate, rather than to allow the Lord to do what He does best...love, forgive and heal.

In addition to losing Sabrina, we also lost Tristan a few months later on December 15, 2007 in an auto accident. On September 26, 2013 we lost T-Bo Davis in an auto accident. They all died before the age of 30. They had all made a confession of faith. While their loved ones continue to grieve their loss, they are in eternity with Jesus. Death is inevitable. Our eternity is a choice we make. Choose Jesus.

I see so many that I know and have known hurting, lost or simply treading a dark, familiar path. While I want to be there at any hour for them, I know that my most effective work and help comes from when I pray. Prayer reaches into the depths of hearts and minds, transforms, heals, causes miracles to happen and is the most effective tool we have. Prayer is also undervalued and underestimated. It is like a best kept secret that the Christian has forgotten about. We replace prayer with luck, chance, coincidence, our own effort, logic and reasoning and perhaps many other things.

I share all of this for a few reasons. First, if you are given the privilege to speak into someone’s life, whether one person or hundreds, treat it like it is, a privilege. Don’t forget your place or seek to take someone else’s place. Love God, love people. Do it sincerely and naturally. God will take care of the outcome.

Secondly, if you feel distant from the Lord, just stop. Look up. Turn around. He has not left you. He will not forsake you. Open God’s word. Let it speak to you. Open your mouth. Let your heart speak to Him. Open your ears. Take time to listen. Be willing to accept His unconditional love for you. Be willing to accept His forgiveness. Be willing to forgive yourself. If the Lord has called you to a task, He will equip you for that task.

Thirdly, as a mom of two, I would say guard your children. Know who is speaking into their lives. There are thousands of voices in this world, all competing to be heard by your child. It may be necessary for positive influences to come from other people because we know that kids can hear the same advice from someone who is not ‘mom’ and often listen to it as if for the first time. We cannot be the only voice they hear, but we can be vigilant as to who is speaking.

Finally, to my kids of yesterday: Thank you. Thank you for letting me in your life, for ministering to me as much as I hoped to minister to you. You kept me accountable to my faith as I strived to be accountable to each of you.